A post by Judi really got me thinking about what I used to do or even still do that I need to undo so that I am successful with the band:
Just like the girl in Judi's post I have offered out an excuse as to why I was buying unhealthy food to complete strangers.
I commented on her post that as a defence I actually blocked people out. Do you know how easy it is to work through life and not pay attention to who is around you. If you notice them, that means they will notice you. I can't tell you how long I have been ignoring the people around me so that I didn't have to face myself.
I know it is all just a defence mechanism that why warped brain had come up with so that I didn't have to face the fact that I was constantly eating crap and loads of it.
Since this journey has started, I have been trying to undo this very bad habit. I am making some progress, but there are times when I wonder if I have done irreversible damage to myself. It is awfully hard to suddenly stop something that I have been doing automatically for so long.
I have always been shy, painfully so. It's probably why I love writing on this blog, the sense of anonymity is such a relief, especially now when I can't even put up a picture of me yet. Hopefully I will be able to get to that point soon.
I am still a work in progress.