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Saturday, June 5, 2010

TTOM & Fudge Brownies

What can I say, the fudge brownie mix has been in the cupboard for months....long before I was banded. I wanted a piece of chocolate, my only defence (as lame as it is) is that it's TTOM and I felt like crap this morning. So I made the package up. It made eight brownies and I have had two of them today. Mum also had two pieces with me. That was my lunch for the day.

One of the great things about being banded is that the brownie filled me up and I didn't need anything else. Not the healthiest, but it is the first time I have done anything like this in months.

TTOM has always been the one time that I can not ignore chocolate. Many diets in my life time have come undo just because of TTOM.

And the crazy thing is that it took me the longest time to actually work it out. I didn't realise that was the catalyst until I went to weight watches and for the first time I had to record everything I ate. It finally dawned on me that I didn't eat chocolate every single day and when I was actively following the plan I would wonder why I would suddenly binge out on chocolate. It still took a few months before I realised that this was happening at the same time as TTOM.

When it finally did dawn on me (I am sure I was in denial for the longest time) I felt like a real dolt for missing the obvious.

The fact that I know this has not made it any easier to avoid chocolate. the only difference is now I can usually stop at just one chocolate bar and not a whole block of chocolate.

There has even been a month or two where I have managed not to eat the chocolate. But it was a struggle.

So that is how I justify the brownie journey today. Now I just have to do something with the other four pieces of brownie so that I don't eat them as well.

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