Places to go; Things to see

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Day Two of Sugar Free and BYOC

Yeah, day two down on the sugar free detox and no slips!! I was even strong enough to resist some offered chocolate :)

Now for Drazil’s BYOC: my little bumblebees....we get to know each other better and we get a free blog topic for our fried brains! Join in if you want and ENJOY!

1. What is your favorite genre of movies? (comedy/romance/horror/action)

* I'm really into romances and comedy and sci-fi and action. Hate horror movies, I saw Rosemary’s Baby when I was about 10 years old and it has scarred me for life. I also hate the take-off spoof films, I just find them really stupid and in no way funny!

2. What do you order when you eat Chinese food?

* Love Chinese food and love ordering something that I have never had before – I used to be the chicken cashew girl, but then I shared a place with a Chinese work mate and she nearly kicked me out of the house when I ordered it. She made me try a whole range of food, I loved it all so like to continue the tradition of trying something new.

3. Okay no one kill me for this one - and don't answer if you don't want to BUT I just saw some preview for Dr. Phil on swingers and I wondered - what's your take on swingers.....for it, against it, do it, would never do it, etc.?

* I have thought about the idea, but don’t know if I would actually ever go through with something like that. It is like some many things in life, interesting in though, but a bit too scary to actually try. If I was ever in a relationship were my partner was interested, than maybe I would re-evaluate :P

4. Let's go back to a repeat question. Pick one thing you'll do one next week that is for your physical/mental health.

* I have done so much better these last two day with my no sugar hit that I want to continue it for all of next week. I know it will be hard, but I need this to get past the sugar addiction I have been under lately.

5. Repeat question. Which blog or comment stuck with you the most this week and why?

* Everyone does such great posts and leaves such wonderful comments. this week I came across Losing the Fluff and I thought her post on protein was great, I now it is all the basic bandster stuff we all now and mostly follow, but it really reminded me of a few things that I had been letting slip just a bit. I really liked the last paragraph on No Negative Talk too, that is something I am constantly working on.

Now I am off to check out your blogs (and I think I have nominated for an award. WooHoo!!)

Friday, July 30, 2010

Take Two of Day One Sugar Free

OMG - I suck at this... Yes day one of sugar free day didn't go to well yesterday... sigh...

I had a couple of cookies for afternoon tea. Alright so it was five cookies.

Unibic Soft Centre Cookies
Please be aware that the devil is at work again and this time he come in the form on Unibic Soft Centre Cookies: DO NOT EAT THESE!!! They are too good to resist and impossible to stop at just one of the soft chocolaty centred cookie goodness.

But enough of these devilish delights.....

Take two of day one went much better. Better planning and keeping away from the temptations really helped.

I have been trying to work out why it hit me so hard the other day and I think it was just laziness on my part. I didn't put up any resistance to the sugar. Same with yesterday, although I gave a few thoughts of resistance, it was not with any determination.

I am sure it is nerves about my band. Not that it will fail me; but that I will fail it.

You see, I did a lot of research about it and I knew that the band would not stop the food, just restrict my portion sizes. I even saw the stories how people cheated with the band by melting chocolate and drinking it so that the band didn't come into play.

I guess I just thought that I would be automatically have the self control to not do any of that. It really did surprise me the first time I ate lollies. It was like I could keep on eating them forever, but at the same time I could feel them filling up my little pouch of a stomach.

Don't get me wrong, I decided before I even got the surgery that I was not going to allow myself to cheat like some of the stories I had heard. I think I have just gotten to the stage were I sometimes think maybe I could get away with it once or twice. I'm also at a stage were I think it is finally setting in that this really is for life and is not just a diet that if I give up on I will just go back to the way I was. And that is a little scary. For no particular reason other than occasionally I miss the false emotional support I used to get with food.

See; I said false. I know it wasn't really supporting me, in fact it was just making my life worse every day.

But there really are times when I would just love to order a pizza or a large Big Mac meal and go to town on it.

I have come to the conclusion in all my recent ramblings that I am going through a sole searching period, personally working on the food and image issues I have about myself.

Perhaps that is why the sugar took hold the other day. The old me not wanting to let go and not be able to go crazy over food again.

That's a thought to sleep on.

Thanks to everyone for your wonderful comments and a big hello and thanks for following me.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Sugar Hit

Wow, what a sugar hit day.
I have decided that I am becoming severely addicted again. It has been awhile, but it really is getting out of hand.

Today I ate a whole bag of snakes - yes, you heard correctly; a WHOLE bag. It was over the course of the day, but that is no excuse. I started having just four little snakes for morning tea.

I thought to myself, `that will be okay and then I can have some more tomorrow`.

Yeah, right. I finished them and before I released it (or was paying attention) I had a second handful.

I folded the bag up and put them away. Fast forward to after lunch (wrong choice here I had a fish cake and it was really too soft to sustain for long) and the brain started again.

`Just a couple more snakes won`t hurt`... AND I LISTENED.

So before long the bag was finished and I am so sugared up I can`t sit still.

Home time and on the train I can barely keep my eyes open (sugar rush well and truly over)

So here I am, having eaten more sugar in one day than I have in the previous month, wondering how I can get off this roller coaster.

I am going to have to do more than I few days of no sugar. I know it will be hard, but I have to get off. I have been fine for so long with just having a little chocolate or lollies every other day or so. This process has been great.

But I know me, I am going to have to clear the slate of all sugar for a while before I try to enjoy my treats again. If I try to just go back to my occasional treat, it will not work and I will continue to splurge in bulk.

You know what started this? I saw the lollies on special at the supermarket and I just grabbed a couple of bags for work. We have team meetings every other week and we all take turns is supplying some lollies to snack on while in the meetings. I hadn`t supplied the sugar rush in awhile so knew it would be my turn soon. I though if I grab them when they were on special I wouldn`t need to pay three times as much at the nearest 7/11 on the day of the meeting.

Next time I won`t worry about paying the extra money.

So now I need to work on a bit of a detox to work the sugar out. I am thinking of just cutting out sugar, and eating more whole foods.

This will mean planning meals in advance. I now it will be hard but I shall succeed, or else!!
{Insert Evil Laugh Here}
I better get to it. I need to plan and organise so that I can follow through with this plan. And I need to read your blogs, need to keep up with it all.

Sunday, July 25, 2010


I hate the scales and I think after next week when the Summer Meltdown Challenge is over I am going to take a break from them.

I know the problem this week:
  • I had a huge loss last week and that was bound to produce a bit of a bounce this week, because that just seems to be the thing that my body loves to do.
  • TOM just arrived to give me help for three days.
  • Also; it has been so cold here my water intake has only been around the 1 - 1.5 litre mark instead of the 2 - 2.5 litre mark.
 And what was the result this morning you ask:

25 July 2010 - 129.1kg (284.6 lb) - up 0.8kg (1.8 lb)

I know it is only 0.8kg or 1.8lb, but sometimes I just want to scream and throw the scales out the window. It rules my emotions and I am really beginning to hate this. I have always been ruled by the scales and it really pisses me off!

The best thing I can say this week is that I am not upset. I know it will be back off next week as there are real reasons for the excess this week. So I am going to get on with my week and not worry about it.

In other much better news today; a friend (J) had a Christmas in July lunch today - as it is winter here in Australia, it is something that has been getting more and more popular. We had a wonderful lunch of baked ham, duck (she wanted to do goose, but couldn't find any and wanted something a little different to the traditional turkey) and roasted vegetables. I had really small portions of each. And enjoyed every mouthful. And then for dessert there was pavlova with passion fruit and raspberries on top. I enjoyed a small piece of this too.

This is what I was wanting with my band. Being able to enjoy a lunch with friends and at the end of it not feel guilty that I stuffed myself silly.

What made this one even better is that I had lunch over at J's place for the real Christmas and back in December I over ate so much. I went back for seconds on everything; as well as devouring heaps of nibbles before the lunch.

And the funniest thing of the day is that I happened to be wearing the same shirt that I had worn last time (I really don't have that big of a wardrobe to choice from :) and the difference between now and then was amazing.

Of course I don't have pictures from Christmas, and I didn't think to take photo's today (I am still very camera shy) but you know when you wear something and it fits but it is really tight and you don't feel comfortable in it? Well that was me at Christmas time in this shirt.

Now, you know that feeling when you wear something that was always tight and then after not wearing it for ages you try it on and realise you are past the stage were it fits and now it is actually too BIG!!!!! Yeah, the fantastic feeling were you realise that something in you wardrobe is too big for you! Well that was me today.

It really is a great feeling and I think it is main reason why I have not let the scales get me down. It just reinforced my own belief that I am doing really well and I am going to succeed.

Days like today just highlight how far I have come and how much happier I am inside me.

Today was a good day. I hope everyone had one just as good.

Saturday, July 24, 2010


1. Let’s brag a little….what’s the best perk you’ve ever had in your job (current or past)? Any employment counts - even if you’re a stay at home mom – you have perks (and the hardest job ever in my opinion).

One of the perks I have is I get free travel on our trains - not that I take much advantage of it.

2. Do you ever lie in your blog?

I don't think I have, but I do leave things out.

3. What do you wear to bed?

Usually just a t-shirt and leggings.

4. Where do you go for advice?

I generally go to the Internet. I do have a few friends that I am close even to, to share problems with, but a lot of the time a try to work through them myself - I need to learn to open up to others more; this I know.

5. Repeat question. Make someone a superstar without using a blog award. What comment or blog stuck with you the most this week and why?

I have to nominate my own blog this week for all the great comments I received when I was feeling down.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Four months

I almost forgot:

Four Months since I was banded.

Some things I have learned since that wonderful day that really has changed my life:
  • There is a wonderful; loving and supportive community in Blogland - you just need to let the wonderful people in.
  • The band doesn't make your food choices for you - you still are in charge of them.
  • Head hunger is not the only type of hunger I can experience (who knew?) - I have experienced real hunger and it didn't kill me
  • I can actually open a packet of Tim Tam's and eat two biscuits and then put the packet away!! - I'm still working on the second visit to the packet in this plan; where I am tend to eat three or four biscuits, but it's not all at once and I have forgotten that the packet was opened for over a week in between the visits
  • After losing 23.6kg (52 lbs - I had to look this up - I had not realised it was that many pounds) I know I still have a long way to go, but I can begin to believe that I will get there.
There are probably a million other things I could add I may just save them for another month. Now I am just happy to have gotten a lot of my chest yesterday and can look forward to another month of moving forward to a new thinner me.


Thanks for your Support

Hey everyone. I just wanted to say a really big thank you for all your support.

I know I have found a great place to go on this wonderful journey. I have come to the realisation that the banding is just a small step to the new me, I think before I was thinking it was the biggest step to the new me.

I am getting my priorities right bit by bit.

Love you all,

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Facing my Fears

One of my greatest fears is that I will not be successful with the band. That I will be one of the few that fail at it.

Even now when I have lost over 20 kilos (44 pounds) I still am afraid that I will fail.

Newly banded Michelle noted this same fear in her post the other day and it really got me thinking.

Why am I still afraid of failure?

I think the main problem is that it's sort of hard to be confident when you are so scared of everything in life. Scared of me, scared of who I am and what I may become when I do lose my wait, scared of failure, just plain scared of life.

I stayed in the same dead end job at Coles supermarkets for 13 years, it started out as a job after school and just KEPT GOING. From casual to part-time to full-time. In the end I didn't even have the guts to quit properly.

I used a weak excuse that my mother needed help in QLD, so I needed to transfer from Sydney to Brisbane, but when I got to Brisbane I just never put in the transfer papers. I used up about twelve weeks of holiday pay (yes I had that much up my sleeve and then some) before I got a job with QR. I then just faxed Coles a resignation letter to make it final.

The job at QR was the first and only job I applied for. At the time I was a smoker (been clean now for 18 months); the hour before my interview I think I smoked about ten smokes and then had to use deodorant and chewed three sticks of gum at once to get rid of the smell. I was so nervous I was nauseous with fear. I know I was extremely lucky to get the one and only job I applied for, but there are times when I think I would have developed better if I had been rejected and I would have been made to go through the process a few more times. Then I get the awful feeling that if I hadn't gotten this job I would have just crawled into a ball and sent in the transfer papers and still be working at Coles.

The fear keeps me away from social outings and meeting new people. Or when I do meet new people I get so shy that it I just sit in a corner and worry about the impression I am making. It takes a while for me to warm up enough that I can talk to people (and yes alcohol can speed things up, but I rarely indulge in the stuff) This usually means that I don't go out much and just keep to myself.

This blog is the most open I have ever been in my life and I think alot of that has to do with the fact that I don't get to see you all face to face. If this was a face to face get together I would still be trying to introduce myself.

And to make matters that much worse I only have 5 weeks to prepare myself to play the cello in front of some people. I agreed to do music exams and in 5 weeks I will be sitting for the Grade Two Cello exam. This will mean playing in front a complete stranger and not stuffing up as well as answering some questions on music - not on paper, but they ask a question and I have to tell them what I think the answer is. Yeah!!!! NOT!!

If I am just playing for my teacher it is all good, but even at home I tend to practice when my Mum is not home or if she is I close the door so she isn't right there. And I am always embarrassed when she tells me how good I am sounding. How sad is that? The only people other than my teacher that I have played in front of was a friend who was playing the violin - two beginners playing some simple tunes together. It was great fun, but she has had to stop for the moment due to some neck shoulder pain. It's been six months and she is still not able to play.

But the good thing is that this exam will make me face my fears and get me playing in front of people. Because I do want to eventually be able to play with other people. I think it would be wonderful to play in a community orchestra and a string trio or quartet. Not just play for myself - which I do love to do.

What else can I so. I know I have probably rambled on here but I already feel better about all this stuff from just writing it down. Thank you for reading and all your support. It really does help.

Until next time,

Sunday, July 18, 2010

I'm in the 120's

I said I was not going to rave about my restriction just yet and I'm not....but OMG I love my band!!!!!!

On the scales this morning I saw 128.3kg.... that is 282.8 lb

That is a loss of 2.8kg or 6.2 lb

I did a little dance this morning :)

I have got into the 120's; and I am not going back.

This has increased my already strong resolve to stay on track and do really well this week.

So happy at the moment, and to think I now have to start work.

Hope every one has a great Sunday and I'll be back later.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

P. S....

I don't want to jump the gun, my fill was only a few days ago.

But I am really hoping that the restriction I am feeling sticks around.

I know I said this the last time I had a fill, (that I feel a good level at restriction), and I am not going to rave about it just yet.

But I really, really, really want this restriction to stay this time.

Here's hoping and praying that it does.

Drazil's BYOC

It’s give your brain a break Friday (Saturday for us in Oz) – BYOC! A whole blog entry ready for the taking….just copy and paste the questions into your blog and answer away. It’s our way of getting to know new and old bloggers a little better! Enjoy from the lovely Drazil!

1. Because I’m going hardcore on Monday to lose my last 15 before vacation I’m curious….what’s the oddest diet you have tried? Or which ones have you tried and were any successful?

Mainly only Weight Watches, I was on and off that for ages.
The worst diet I was ever on was Herbal Life, it was one of the first meal replacement diets that I heard of and it involved vitamin supplements for everything, I got tired of all the pill taking and only lasted about a two months, and the weight just came straight back on when I stopped.

2. Do you prefer baths or showers?

I love the shower, but I don’t know if this is because I have not been able to fit comfortably into a bath since I was I kid.

I will need to try them out again when I get smaller.

3. What is your favorite breakfast food?

Pre-Band - bacon egg and cheese toasted sandwich, I got addicted to them at this place near work were they use the really think bread. Lots of melted cheese to hold it all together and lots of BBQ sauce, I haven’t had one since my surgery an I really do not want to eat another one – because if I do I will not be able to stop!!!

Post-Band – I still enjoy bacon and eggs, but know it is one half rasher with all fat cut of and one egg - no cheese and most of the time no bread (my quick break fix is a McDonalds egg & bacon muffin which I just eat the inside and don’t eat any of the muffin at all; I am trying to be good.

4. What’s your least favorite word?

This one seems to be a common theme this week, but I also have to say the ‘C’ word – as I saw Grace put once in her blog ‘c-u-next-Tuesday’. It I horrid and should never have been added to the English dictionary.

5. Repeat question…make someone a Superstar for a day! Whose blog or comment spoke to you or stuck with you the most this week and why?

I was heart broken for Steph when I read her post regarding her brother. And then later in the week she also wrote a post on head hunger that I sooooo related to as I was going through the same thing this last week.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

The Head Verses the Stomach

After my last post I have been thinking a lot and with the help of the remark left by Work in Progress I have come to the realisation that I have been hungry.

For so long I was overeating so much that I don't think I every really knew what hungry felt like and so since the band I have been constantly fighting against my head hunger. I never took into account that I could actually be really hungry.

Don't get me wrong I am still battling the head hunger, but I have been thinking that some of the hunger pains and some of the meals I have been eating were because I was actually hungry.

Amazing... six month's ago I would never have know that sensation when I was not on a strict diet. And then I would have been moaning about it constantly.

Now, I don't even realise it and just think my head hunger I is again getting out of control.

It really is amazing how one comment can change your whole perspective on a situation.

To that end; I had an appointment with my surgeon today and I got another fill.


It was only a little fill of 0.5ml - but he doesn't want to over fill. I don't mind, as long as it helps me on my journey.

I really am of two minds on my fills.

First and foremost I want that great restriction that allows my to eat well, but not get stuck all the time.

On the other hand I really am petrified that I will become over filled and and won't be able to keep anything down. This probably the only real fear I have with my band, and it is really more of the unknown that scares me more than anything, so I can live with that for now.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

First half of challenge done

I don't know if it is acceptance or denial; but the depression I was expecting to hit after my weight gain this week has not arrived.

I want to tilt to the acceptance side of things.

I know I had done wrong and I am working at fixing the problem.

So to that end, I have completed part of my BYCO challenge - no sugar.

Today's meals went like this:

730 breakfast - bacon and egg sandwich (I only ate half a slice of the bread) and a skinny latte - even stayed clear of the Cap so that there was no choc on top.
1230 lunch - ham cheese tomato on rye wrap
230 afternoon - 4 pieces of calamari - First time I have eaten this since banding and I took it quite slowly to be on the safe side but did not have any problem with them :)
730 dinner - I am about to make my self an omelet with eggs, spring onion (from my own garden) tomato and mixed veges, with some bake beans on the side.

I am not sure how that stands up for a healthy balanced diet. I know I need to get more veges (hence why I am going to add some mixed veges to my omelet), but I have realised that sometime find it hard to plan ahead.

I will work on that. The second part of my challenge was to do the same on Thursday - no sugar.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Small Cry of Shame

I am not too down about this at the moment - give it a day and it may be another matter entirely.

Weigh in was this morning and I gained this week.

I am back up to 131.1kg (289 lb)

The only thing I can think is that I spoke too soon last week when I said I thought I had gotten over my next milestone.

I had thought my next milestone was getting over the 20 kilogram weight lose, I had forgotten about the getting into the 120's....

Who am I kidding!?! The truth is I have had a few not so good weeks and it has finally caught up with me on the scales.

Not terrible weeks, but there has been the occasional days were I really have not been paying attention and have eaten the wrong things (i.e. chocolate in more than bite size quantities) and so I really have no one to blame for this but myself.

This is the gain I was expecting to happen last and it is my own fault for not taking the lose last week as a sign that the scales are not always going to save me from myself.

So the only thing I can do is what I am supposed to do.

Eat the right foods, small portions and stay away from too many slider foods.

This is one of the reasons I have chosen to have two free sugar days from Drazil's BYOC. I knew this was coming so I put a plan into place to hopefully get back on track.

I would say wish me luck, but I don't need luck, I need the resolve to follow through with this plan.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Drazil's BYCO - Bring Your Own Craziness

1. Love or money? High salary or job satisfaction?

Can't we have both?!? At the moment I am on half and half - pretty good money and job satisfaction some of the time (the rest of the time it is just to busy to scratch) and I am pretty happy with it as it is.

2. What is your favorite time of day?

Can I say home time? yes I did just say that I have some job satisfaction, but home time is still my favorite time of the day. A job well down and all that.

3. My in-laws just had their wills done so it made me wonder this. Do you have a will? Did you tell anyone your wish to be kept alive or not?

No will, and every now and then I keep thinking I should do one up, but never get to it. I guess I just don't want to face my mortality yet.

4. Repeat question. Pick one thing for one day you'll do next week that aids in your physical or mental health.

NO SUGAR - I have decided that on Tuesday and Thursday (because one day is not enough) will be a no added sugar days - The hardest bit will be the morning coffee I always add a sweetener to it (does artificial sweetener count as sugar on sugar free days???)

5. Repeat questions. Make someone a superstar for a moment...whose comment or blog stuck with you this week and why.

I really hate this question - there are always too many good ones every week.

This week I loved Janice's 'first fill' blog - I know I have been through it, but I couldn't see it like this - with pictures, and it was really interesting. That is a huge needle, I never looked at it when my doctor was coming at me with it. And looking back I think he must have been sort of hiding it. Either that or I have just totally blocked it out (probably more likely - I have a knack of blocking pain memories)

Have a great week everyone.

Update on Sliders

Well I made it through Friday feeling so much better about my food choices.

The only changes I made to the menu plan was I also had chicken and salad for dinner instead of the chops and veges. But that was a 'I'm tired and don't want to cook' thing, so I got some skinless chicken from Red Rooster and put it with a salad instead (I can even honestly say that I did not have even ONE of my mum's chips - which I LOVE)

Thanks to everyone for your supporting comments. I detest these days were one thing goes wrong and it puts a depressing view on the rest of the day and your comments really got me over that.

Now I need to go check in on Drazil and BYOC....

Thursday, July 8, 2010


I truly believe that slider foods are the bane of my existence.

I think I may have reached the point were on previous diet attempts I would just give up; even if I was succeeding. It's kinda like the seven year itch...just a much shorter time period.

Maybe I should call it the 'Four Month Itch'. I know it is just my food choices that is making feel this way; and I know I am still losing weight; but my mind needs to be jump started back on track.

I hate this feeling!

I am eating whatever I want and it is not being stopped. Sure my portions are still small, but that doesn't mean allot if I am eating crap food. I need to get a handle on this downward spiral I have started.

I have a feeling it could very well be water related. I know I am not getting enough. I was sitting at my desk at work this afternoon, thinking 'I'm hungry, what should I get from the evil snack machine'. I tried to stop the craving, but I did cave in and bought a chocolate crunch bar. But as I was coming back to my desk I stopped off to fill my water bottle and that is when it hit me. was 4pm and I had had less than 500ml of water all day, no wonder I was caving into crappy food cravings.

So not only and I making poor choices, I am also not getting enough water.

And I don't know if the lack of water has anything to do with the four month diet itch, or if it is on top of that.


I think I am going stir crazy.

Okay.. Plan of attach...

Meals tomorrow - no sliders:

Breakfast will be an omelet
Lunch will be chicken salad
Dinner will be chops and veges
Snacks will be limited to strawberries and a small muesli bar.


As for the rest of it, I have a fill appointment next Thursday, and if I have to I will demand more fill.

I will get past the four month diet itch though, won't I?

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Exercise challenge

Well I successfully completed part one of my BYOC challenge this week. I walk both to and from the train station on Monday and the second part is on track.

Walked to the station on yesterday as well. The only reason I am not also walking home from the station for the rest of the week is because I am finishing work at 7pm and that means I am not getting off the train until 8pm. For some reason I feel safe walking to the station when it is dark in the morning, but not in the evening, so I get picked up.

Everyone seems to have had a great 4th July weekend. With lots of great food and great friends and even loses on the scales.

What is with that!!

Everyone has just done great. Congratulations to you all and I hope our next long week-end I do just as good as you all have done.

Cheers for now, I gotta scoot to get ready for work.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Close call

What can I say. My weigh in this morning came as such a shock to me.

130.6kg (287.9 lbs)

That's a loss of 0.5kg.

I have to confess that I have been sneaking peaks at the scales though out the week. I don't like doing this and most of the time I can get through the week with only one check, usually on a Thursday. But this week I was checking every other day.

When I checked on Friday it was up to 132.3kg. I know it was TTOM and that always adds some water weight, but I was not expecting it to all to disappear.

I honestly thought I was going to put on weight. And when I stopped to think about it; I always think I am going to put on weight.

No matter how my week has gone, I always think the worst.

Can I please stop this?!?

If I was to evaluate my diet now and compare it to when I was doing great at Weight Watchers, I am doing so much better now without even trying. The band naturally gives my the restraint I need to only eat small portions. Yes, at times my choices could be alot better, but I not eating nearly as much as what I used to. Why do I constantly doubt myself?

Retraining the brain is hard work. I need to let go of these insecurities, like continually thinking I am going to fail with the band . I try not to let it get to me, and one of the things I do when these thoughts try to bring me down is look at all your wonderful blogs, just seeing at the tickers we all have showing the amount of weight we have lost and how long we have all had the bands for and reading all the successes we come across each day. I know that as long as I keep focused on the positives I will be successful.

I just have to stay focused.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

BYO-F-C….That’s Bring Your Own *Freaking* Crazy….

1. Seeing that it’s a patriotic holiday of sorts I thought of this one: Where were you on September 11th?

I was at awake on my couch (I was sick with gallstones and couldn't sleep) due to the time differences I think it was really early (I think it was about 2am when it was first aired on Aussie TV)I was watching TV to pass the time as I just could not sleep and shocked to see it come up on every channel. I watched in stunned silence for hours.

2. What is your idea of fun? If given the chance to skip work/life for an entire day, what would you do? (assume you’d be by yourself)

I would start the day reading everyone's blogs, then do a little shopping, maybe some clothes that I would love to buy, have lunch at the beach, after which I would have a long walk with my dog Blondie, then come home and play my cello for a while. Then have a lovely dinner and end the day with a great movie.

3. Suggestion from a follower. Some blog questions.

How many blogs do you follow? 53
Do you read them all or just your faves? I read them all.
Do you comment a little, a lot, on all? I would probably say only a little, only because I never know what to say.
Have you ever un-followed someone because of something they said or you didn’t like their blog? Yes, but the two that I have un-followed were blogs that I could no longer view, they had been closed down.
Do you routinely un-follow and why? No, but if any other blogs become unreadable or closed down I will un-follow them.

4. Repeat question. Pick one day and one healthy thing you’ll do for just that day next week.

I got though this weeks challenge alright, and so next week I am going to aim for exercise. Monday it is my aim to walk both to and from the train station and then walk at least to the station for the rest of the week. (I have slacked off this past week as I was starting early and would need to leave home at 5:40am to walk to the station, but next week I am starting later so that will not be an issue)
Remember these can be mental things too – like pampering yourself for one hour, journal, meditating, etc.

5. Repeat "Make someone a superstar" question. Whose blog or blog comment stuck with you this week and why?

Again there have been many inspiring posts this week. Drazil's medication post struck a cord. And I felt sorry for Liz when she got fired, but at the same time so proud of the way she brushed it off and is making the best of it. I just know she will do great and land something even better. And her articles for the Examiner are fun and entertaining, I look forward to them.

Have a great week-end everyone (especially you Americans with your long week-end full of celebrations)!

Round 2 for Measurements

I decided to take another round of measurements this morning and have added a few more places to measure. The extras are things I had though to measure after the first lot I took.

The neck idea came from a website were you can get an estimate of your body fat percentage, it uses the US Navy Body Fat Calculator to give you an estimate. I know it is only a guide, but it is interesting to try every now and then.

So for this mornings measurements:

Neck: 39cm - new measurement
Bust: 117cm - down 2cm
Chest: 106cm - new measurement
Waist: 113cm - down 3cm
Hip: 152.5cm - down 2.5cm
Left Arm: 44cm - the same
Right Arm: 45.5cm - up 0.5cm (don't know what happened here)
Left Thigh: 83.5cm - down 4.5cm
Right Thigh: 84.5cm - down 4.5cm
Left Knee: 45.5cm - down 1.5cm
Right Knee: 45cm - down 2cm
Left Calf: 52.5cm - new measurement
Right Calf: 52cm - new measurement

All up there is a total centimeters lost of 19.5cm


I am especially proud of the the thigh loss recorded, all this walking is starting to pay off.

The only thing I am not sure about is the arms. I don't know if I just measured incorrectly last time (because I double checked it this time) or if I have gained 1/2 a cm on my right arm. i am thinking I measured wrong last time, but I will have to check on that next time.

This also illustrated that I really need to work on the arms as it is the only place that I didn't lose any centimeters. And this is one of my areas that I now I have to work on as I do not want to end up with bat wings. I have them now and I want them gone. It can be done, I have seen them go. There is a lady that goes to the support meetings I go to and she has fantastic arms. You wouldn't believe it to look at her before photos. She said she did a lot of exercises with a workout band, she would do lots of resistance training just while she would be watching TV at night. That is what I am going to have to do.

I best be off for now, I have more of your great blogs to read and I need to check on Drazil's BYOC. So I may even get a second post in today. That and work, my life is so busy at the moment.

Hugs to all.

Friday, July 2, 2010

To Do List - a work in progress

I have noticed that a lot of people have 'wish lists' for when they have lost their weight.

There are times when I just do not know if this is something I want to do, as it seems that in all previous weight loss attempts, when I set goals, that is when I usually fall of the diet wagon.

This is not one of those times.

Right now I want to make a wish list (or as Island Bandit put it "To Do List") I like the idea of the To Do List, that way it is something I have to do; rather then something I want, but really have no hope of getting (e.g. I wish I could win the lotto (it really is something that is never gonna happen)

So here is my To Do List - definitely a work in progress:

  1. Get into double digits - I do not know when I weighed under 100kg. The closest I have ever gotten was a few years ago at weight watchers (I got down to 102kg before I lost the plot). I don't even know when I went over this number in the first place, I would have been in my teens, but I never paid any attention to my weight and we did not even have a working set of scales. More on this subject at a later date I think.
  2. Buy a great outfit and look good in it. I want to be able to buy something that is in fashion and look great in it - I will first need to find a fashion style that I like and looks good on me, but that will also be part of the fun.
  3. Buy a pair of heeled boots. I love boots, but just cant wear them as my calves have always been so big. And heels are something else entirely.
  4. Wear a pair of Skinny High Heels - I have just rediscovered my court shoe heels but I want to be able to wear the skinny heels, I have never been able to wear a pair, so I know I will need lots of practice :)
  5. Run in a 10km race - this one could take a while as at this stage I can't even walk 10km at the one time, but I will get there. I am going the start with the couch to 5km program - a friend at work had a great idea, do it first with walking - regular and power walking until I am power walking for the whole 30 minutes in the program - then I will be ready to start the program over again but with jogging and running. I will see how I go, but I am hopeful that it will work. I just need to get started on it. (I want to use the cold weather as an excuse, but I am tired of excuses.
  6. Get a Passport - simple I know, but I just never get around to it.
  7. Use my new passport - yes I want to travel overseas. I want to see the world, the problem is I always plan these huge trips that I am never going to be able to afford, (unless that wishing for lotto finally comes through!?!) so I want to plan a shorter more manageable overseas holiday.
Okay, I might have to leave it here for now. Otherwise it will get to be more of a wish list rather than the to do list it is intended to be.