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Friday, October 15, 2010

Fat Childhood

There are posts flying around about our own childhood obesity and it brought back vivid memories of my childhood. And I thought I would put them down here.

I was not fat as a child. I was tall for my age and that really worked against me.

When I was five; I started jazz ballet, but that didn't last very long because they didn't put me with the rest of the five year old, they put me in with the seven and eight year old. And then would not be supportive when I couldn't keep up with the older girls. My mum tried to get them to put me in a class of girls my own age, but when they didn't, she took me out of it. I sometimes look back and wonder, is this when I started to think of myself as too big.

I remember when I was in year one at school, we had a sporting event. We had to run around the field a few times. I got a stitch and thought I was dying. The teacher told me to shake it off and keep going. I was fine; but after that moment I always avoided anything strenuous. This is when I started thinking I was not able to run.

Throughout my school years I would do as little physical activity as possible. At sport athletic carnivals, we had to do at least one running race. I would always choose the 400 meter race, because it was the shortest distance that you were not expected to sprint the whole way. I always came last and there were quite a few years where I faked illness to have that day off sick. I loved it when they allowed us to do walks instead of runs. I still came in last, but was less winded. This is when I realised I was never going to be able to run and would never be fit. This is also when I really started to gain weight. When I was no longer only tall, but also bigger.

Later in my childhood I did alright in swimming, but then my period started and I refused to use tampons; so that ended that activity. And I wasn't doing much. When I hit puberty, I fit the fat zone as well. By the time I finished high school I was obese. 

I can't give you numbers, because I didn't step on a scale until I was 26 in the year 2001 when I first suffered from gallstones. I went to the doctor's two weeks in a row because of the pain I was in and she noticed the second week that I had lost weight and so she got me on the scale. It said 125.6kg That was not a happy day, especially as I had lost a bit in that one week as I could barely keep anything down.

So with my whole life avoiding any form of physical activity; and this doesn't cover the food either.

Its not like I was fed nothing but junk when I was a kid, we always ate healthy foods, once a week we got take away. Rarely were we given lollies to eat. Special occasions only, that was the general rule and for no other reason than my mum didn't eat the stuff. But as I got older I would look for these special occasions more and more often, and when they came I would eat more and more of the 'treats'; no matter what it was. Things only got worse when I got my first job. I had my own money and could buy treats whenever I wanted them.

From that point on every day was a treat day, and I have been dealing with this problem ever since.

I wish I knew what could have been done differently to make me turn out differently. Oh well, too late now. I am who I am, and I still have a long way to go :-)

3 comments:

  1. I was a fat child, but things got even worse for me when I was in college and had freedom and money to buy what I wanted when I wanted. I went from living in a town that shut down at 6pm to a town that was open until 3am or all night. For some reason it felt so liberating to buy my own food and treats.

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  2. I remember my first job and the wonderful feeling of being able to buy the food I wanted, I would hide to eat it and it all became part of my sick little world. But we are all getting better now, together. Thanks for sharing!

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  3. Isn't it (sadly) funny how little events in our life really do shape who we are today?

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