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Friday, October 29, 2010

Hoilday Challenge and an Epiphany


Click to go to Challenge Superstar Kristen!!
Yes it coming up to another challenge. The Challenge superstar Kristen is organising it and the great challenge icon has been designed by the stylish Joey, I absolutely love this little design. Thanks ladies, it is great to be doing another challenge.

So I am hoping to do better in this one than in the last weight loss challenge I was in. Then it went for eight weeks and I lost just under 7 kilos (under 15 pounds) I know that was still a good result, but it could have been allot better. There were a few weeks were I did not do well and was quite slack. It was only because other weeks were I did really well that the end results weren't too bad. This new challenge is only six weeks long and I want a more consistent result this time.

My own personal weekly goals should help with this. This first week has been a little up and down with them so far, but I will persist with it as I think the structure has great potential to really help me get past were I am lately.

This brings me onto my Epiphany:

I have been wondering why I have not been feeling as excited as I should be about the fact that I have lost over 30 kilos in the last seven months, and I think I have worked it out.

You see the Feb 2010 photo, well that was the one that really opened my eyes and made me see what I had really become. Even though I had been thinking about the band and had done a lot of research. It was this photo that made me make the appointment and schedule the surgery.

Why?

Because of the photo from October - this is what I have always seen myself as.

This is the self image I have always had of myself. I knew I was fat, obese, gross; whatever you want to call it. But I never really truly saw myself. There is probably a few other photos of me at this size. I know there is a couple from the work Christmas party last year. But I don't have any copies of them and when they went around the office I managed to ignore them most of the time, if I did look at them I managed to ignore me in them and concentrate of the other people.

Self denial is a bad thing - that's all I'm saying.

The reason I don't think I have come very far yet is because in my head I am right were I was eight to ten months ago. I know I realised I really was allot bigger, but that fact didn't seem to make it all the way to the subconscious level it seems.

With the February photo; I have hidden it since the moment I saw it, but for some reason I could never delete it from the memory stick. It was the one that changed everything for me and for that I am grateful.

So there you go. I have been in denial for so long I really have no idea where I am at the moment.

5 comments:

  1. I know what you mean about the body image. Even @ 30 lbs down, my reality is still about 50 lbs heavier than my mental image of myself.

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  2. Eventhough I'll be on a cruise for 9 days of the challenge, I'm still going to do it. Hopefully it will be an extra incentive not to go crazy with eating. I know what you mean about body image. I look at a pair of pants and think I'll definitely be able to fit in them then can't get them over my hips. WTF? Although, in some ways I think this is better than seeing myself bigger than I am.

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  3. im totally excited for this challengge!!

    http://andy-changingmylife.blogspot.com/

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  4. You look great! I know what you mean about those old photos. I didn't see that when I looked in the mirror, but I have some photos where I was shocked by how big I looked.

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  5. I think the best way to see our progress is with pictures (and measurements). You are doing so well!

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