|Click to go to Challenge Superstar Kristen!!|
So I am hoping to do better in this one than in the last weight loss challenge I was in. Then it went for eight weeks and I lost just under 7 kilos (under 15 pounds) I know that was still a good result, but it could have been allot better. There were a few weeks were I did not do well and was quite slack. It was only because other weeks were I did really well that the end results weren't too bad. This new challenge is only six weeks long and I want a more consistent result this time.
My own personal weekly goals should help with this. This first week has been a little up and down with them so far, but I will persist with it as I think the structure has great potential to really help me get past were I am lately.
This brings me onto my Epiphany:
I have been wondering why I have not been feeling as excited as I should be about the fact that I have lost over 30 kilos in the last seven months, and I think I have worked it out.
You see the Feb 2010 photo, well that was the one that really opened my eyes and made me see what I had really become. Even though I had been thinking about the band and had done a lot of research. It was this photo that made me make the appointment and schedule the surgery.
Because of the photo from October - this is what I have always seen myself as.
This is the self image I have always had of myself. I knew I was fat, obese, gross; whatever you want to call it. But I never really truly saw myself. There is probably a few other photos of me at this size. I know there is a couple from the work Christmas party last year. But I don't have any copies of them and when they went around the office I managed to ignore them most of the time, if I did look at them I managed to ignore me in them and concentrate of the other people.
Self denial is a bad thing - that's all I'm saying.
The reason I don't think I have come very far yet is because in my head I am right were I was eight to ten months ago. I know I realised I really was allot bigger, but that fact didn't seem to make it all the way to the subconscious level it seems.
With the February photo; I have hidden it since the moment I saw it, but for some reason I could never delete it from the memory stick. It was the one that changed everything for me and for that I am grateful.
So there you go. I have been in denial for so long I really have no idea where I am at the moment.