There are times when it just feels like I am drifting from one half baked idea to the next. I never stop and think about what the whole plan will be.
The reason behind this thought?
Well, the truth is I failed miserably at this 'diet'. It wasn't the diet itself, I still think Atkins is pretty good, when you stop and think about it, the Atkins is quite close to the standard band meal plan, protein and vege with only a little carbs.
The problem is. I have lost the ability to actually diet. Ever since I was banded my whole thought process has changed. I no longer HAD to diet. I no longer HAD to watch everything I ate. the band did that for me.
I look at the bandsters that have done so well in their first year and beyond, and the one thing different that stands out between them and me, is that they never really stopped dieting, or if not actually dieting, at least watching what they were eating and didn't loose sight of what they were after.
I guess I just thought that I had the band and it worked so well during the first six months with out any major help or major input from me; that it would always do it. After the first six months, when the weight loss slowed and then basically stopped, I kept putting it off onto other things. And to be perfectly honest, I can't even remember most of them at the moment. All I can remember is that it does involve chocolate and not in small quantities like I would prefer.
My band is at a good place, at least I think it is, when I eat according to the band plan, I can eat between 1/2 and 1 cup of food and it does keep me full for a few hours. So why is it that I can't stick to the band plan?????
All week I have been trying to stick to the Atkins plan, and not a single day has passed with out me failing and eating a very heavy carb food, mostly in the way of cheezels, they do not fill you up, but they have lots of calories. It seems the more I try to limit the food types, the more I eat of them.
So there you have it. A life time dieter that can no longer diet.
What is the world coming to?
For me it means I have adjusted my thinking, on how I am facing the rest of my journey. I am resigning from some of the challenges I have set myself this year - namely the 50lbs in 111 days!!! I do feel a little guilty about this as it is yet another challenge I have set myself that I have failed at. But I am doing this for me. I know a few of you may think that this challenge was a little over enthusiastic, and you would probably be right. Mainly because I wasn't in the right frame of mind!
I am still thinking about my next move on my journey. But I do not want to rush into it this time. I am off to Sydney on Monday. Just for the week. Going to catch up with a few good friends and do some shopping with my sister for her up coming wedding. So I do apologise for the lack of comments in the next week. I may not get too much of a chance to get to a computer.
And while I am away I am going to have a good long think about how I am going to handle the rest of this journey. Because, believe me when I tell you, I do want to continue on successfully. I want to be a lot thinner for my trip overseas and I want to be a lot thinner for my sisters wedding that is scheduled for a few weeks after I get back from the wonderful trip.
Thank you all for your support and comments. I hope I can turn things around for myself, I know your support has gotten me to were I am today, ready for the next 30 kilos to be gone from this body of mine!!