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Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Band in Me

All of a sudden I think my band has decided to loosen!! I'm not 100% sure, but I am getting very hungry the last few days, especially at night. I think it may be the cold weather of winter settling in. The same thing is happening to Blondie (my pooch), she is eating her food like there is no tomorrow and is always looking for more :o)

I do know that I don't feel as though I can eat anything in the morning, but come lunch I am very hungry, but can only eat a little as usual, and it does fill me up, but then by dinner I am very very hungry again and I seem to be able to eat a fair bit more than what I could a few weeks ago.

I am sure it will settle down. But wouldn't that be just about right; finally getting on track to lose some more weight and then my band loosens??

I have a very big inkling this is just my head playing around with me, trying to sabotage me. Because that is what I do. And this is something that I will be working on to stop too!!

If I was to be granted one wish at the moment, it would be to have a replay of my mindset from a year ago.

When I was first banded, nothing would stop me. I followed the band rules with out thinking about it. I just did it. I was only doing a little exercise, but I was trying. I was doing everything right. But I don't know what happened to change the mind set.

When I think really hard and go though the time I stopped losing on a regular bases, the only thing the really changed was the work outs. I joined a gym and started exercising. And I think that could be the catalyst. Not the working out, I would not change that for anything as I am so much fitter than I have ever been.

No; the problem is when I went to the gym, I stopped paying attention to the food I was eating. I started reintroducing chocolate and snacks into my diet. I re-started eating the creamy foods that just slide down through the band. I used the gym as an excuse to stop trying. As an excuse to eat the food I knew I was not supposed to eat.

I was silly.

This is not to say that I am not proud of my journey so far. But I am a little disappointed in myself for allowing me to de-rail myself so easily and for so long.

The excuses are stopping know. I will exercise AND eat well. I will succeed and get to goal.

I have said it before and will say it again. I deserve to be healthy, happy and thin. This is something I need to work on so that I believe enough to achieve it. Self-ego is not something I excel at and is my biggest issue on this journey. It can be a hard journey if you do not believe you are worth it. This is something I am working on improving.

Tomorrow is Monday and so the beginning of the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation. I am so excited. I will definitely be getting an early night tonight so that I can be up and ready tomorrow morning. Will be at the gym 5am and no excuses.

Here a great Monday everyone :o)

4 comments:

  1. It's so hard isn't it, I have no advice as I've been terrible for so long.
    Good luck with your 12 week body transformation, I know that you can do it!

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  2. Is it head hunger or do you think you may need a small fill? One of the signs you're not in the green zone is getting hunger before meal time.

    Good luck with your 12 WBT. I know you've been very excited about this!

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  3. Ah, I'll be at the gym at 5am. as well! I know when I started working out I didn't lose anything for a while because I was eating more carbs. It's a hard balancing act, you want to eat more because your body is burning everything, but you have to figure out a happy medium. I'm no expert by any means, so I've started journaling my food again to try to be better about monitoring my caloric intake. Good luck to you in your new determination!

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  4. I couldn't possibly work out at 5 a.m. I just can't do it. Good for you! Sounds like you're in the right mindset and ready to start your program. Good luck!

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