Places to go; Things to see

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

A definite goal I want to set

I was down at the beach with Tori and Kim yesterday and I know a goal I want to achieve for next Christmas!

This is them on Tuesday when they went for a ride with of our friends on motorcycles, they had a blast and a video was taken while they were riding, can't wait to see it :o) {Tori is in the Elmo hat and Kim has on the Cookie Monster head}

I want to be ale to enjoy an outing to the beach with them.

I have never enjoyed going to the beach because I have never been comfortable in a bathing suit in front of people. Now I know that even at goal I will still have the problem of excess skin, especially around my thighs, i am sure if i worked out 10 times a day i could maybe get around that fact, but the truth is, I do not see myself getting a great body at goal without some plastic surgery, and I am almost good with that, I am working on it.

But I want to go to the beach and not feel so self concious, today I sat on the beach for a while and stayed in my shorts and then when it got too hot, I went and sat under a tree. Which I am enjoying as well, don't get me wrong.

Look at that beautiful sky behind me :o) I do love summer time, I just wish I was in better shape to enjoy it more, and I know I will be next year, but that didnt stop me from being a little down that I didn't have the nerve to take my shorts off and go for a swim in the surf, cause it did look very inviting and I don't have swimming shorts to wear over my swimmers, I have only swum in a pool with a training squad and shorts just don't work there :p

So I am sure there is going to be a lot of work involved in this new goal for me, especially as it is more mental than anything else, but I am willing to work on it if it means I can enjoy more time with my niece :o)

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

2012, a Word, a Number and a Dream

So I have been giving this a lot of thought and the following are my goals for 2012:
A Word

This is my word for 2012

It has always been about choices and I am finally going to address that and attempt to get a hold on mine.
 I will choose to exercise instead of sitting in front of the TV 
I will choose to exercise at least three times a week 
I will choose a healthy dinner instead of munching on chocolate and chips
I will choose to prepare a healthy meal plan for the week
I will choose to drink at least 8 glasses of water every day
I will choose to be held accountable for my actions
I will choose to do what I can to pay for my next holiday overseas

I will choose to add to this list as the year goes on :o)

A Number

As in the number of hours a month of exercise I will do as a minimum. 600 minutes is not a lot to achieve each month when broken down, but this year I am planning for consistency, not up and down track records.

A Dream
To reach goal weight this year.

I started this journey on March 22, 2010; it has been long enough.

I have been going through my stats and realized that I lost 6.9kg (15.3lb) in 2011. I waisted a lot of time this past year not doing what I was supposed to be doing. Eating the wrong foods, exercising only occasionally, and avoiding the issues I have with food.

2012 is the year this is changing. See I realized something else will I was going through my stats... I have reached 40kg down!!! I am over the half way mark. That is something I never thought I would get to. And hear I reached it and didn't even know it.

But I am going to have to work on it to keep it over 40kg, because my stats also show that while I loose weight over Christmas; I also gain in the new year! And this is my first test towards my new resolve for 2012.

Reading back over this it does sound like 'New Year Resolutions' but I guess I am just going to have to prove to myself that they are not, they are what I want to change about myself to help me get to the beginning of the my maintaining journey :o)

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas :o)

Twas' the night before Christmas and I just a quick post to wish everyone all over the world and very Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday :o)

I hope you all get to spend some quality time with your family and friends.

I am looking forward to a Christmas lunch with my Mum and friends and then on Boxing Day, while I have an early start at work, my Mum will be picking up Tori and her friend Kim from the airport for their two week visit.

We have a few Christmas presents wrapped and ready for them both along with a stocking filled with trinkets and sweets. Christmas is always more fun when there are gifts to exchange and friends to share it with :o)

I am also glad to have everyone in blogland and count you all as friends and family. The support you have offered my throughout the year is inspiring, and I know that with your support I will get through my journey and I hope that I can help you through yours  :o)

Friday, December 23, 2011

Sp@nx and the final Skinny Santa Challenge day

OMG!!!!! I put on a pair of Sp@nx this morning for the first time and i am a total convert :o)

These may be a b!tch to put on, but once that's completed, they are amazing! I had to take measurements of my hips and thigh when I put them on ad they have shaved nearly 10cm (4in) off the hip and 7cm (3in) off the thighs. I was amazed! And I can't believe how comfy they are on! All the shape wear I have ever tried (& that isn't too many, cause you can't get a lot above a size 16 hear in Australia) but the ones I have tried always felt like I was in a still box and not able to freely move. These things hold me in even better that any previously tried brand and I am still able to move, bend, walk comfortably.

The only problem is they cost me $70.00 bucks and I only have one pair. Mind you, I just did a quick search on line and I can get them from overseas for $30.00 US and postage will only be $10.00, so I will definitely be buying and i rating from the US.

Okay, so now that I have got that bit of info out...... Results from my weight in this morning:

23 December - 246.5lb (111.8kg)
16 December - 248 lb (112.5 kg)
09 December - 247.1lb (112.1kg)
02 December - 250.6lb (113.7kg)
25 November - 253.7lb (115.1kg)
18 November - 254lb (115.2kg)
Start of the challenge - 256lb (116.1kg)


I am really pleased with these results. Not only did I loose the 1.1lb that I gained last week, but I also lost another 0.6lbs. Soo much better than what I was expecting with the all the pre Christmas eating that has happened at work this week.

So in the six weeks of the challenge I lost 9.5lb or 4.3kg. And while I am really happy with that loss, I know it's not going to be enough to win, so I can't wait to see who I'm buying the voucher for :o)

On a side note to this, I have really enjoyed this challenge, it would have to be one of the few, were I have actually lost a decent amount of weight. Usually when I sign up I have a great first week and then over the course of the challenge, gain it back and the bounce around that number for the whole challenge.

So I just want to give a great big shout out to Stace @
Ready to Realize for starting this challenge. I have really enjoyed it :o)

Now I am off to work and the Christmas party of food, food and no alcohol - we have a zero tolerance for alcohol in our workplace ):  (I miss the first Christmas I had here were they supplied wine and beer!!)

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Hello Christmas Spirit & other rambles :o)

This week is flying by :o)

I am actually getting somewhere with my Christmas shopping. Finally feel as though I am no longer drowning in money worries. And finally feel as though I will be able to enjoy Christmas. It took a little while, but I am in the holiday spirit...

Ain't they cute?! I saw this when I googled Christmas Spirit :o)
Now the only thing I have lost this week is the will to exercise. But; while I don't count it towards my goal; I have done a lot of power walking in the last two days! Racing around in my lunch break to get things. Yesterday I would have had a good 30 - 40 minutes of solid power walking, as I had to get from one side of the city to the other (it's not a big CBD shopping area in Brisbane) in my break and really had to motor so that I would not be late back. Then again last night, I spent two hours powering through a shopping centre on the hunt for pressies. Didn't slow down for much at all.

But besides that there are been no scheduled exercise. Which I have resided myself to. I am afraid that I have fallen into that little trap were it is close enough to the new year to think I will begin again.

Only my thinking is I will begin again after I have finished work on Friday. Christmas is going to be lunch at a friends house and while there will be turkey, ham, veges and dessert, I won't go over board. And I the left overs will not be at my house, so I won't be grazing on them for the following week.

So yeah, I'm not coping with the foods at work at the moment, but I have checked the scale and so far it is still looking good, the pound I gained last week has gone, but that is all. So even though I am not eating the healthiest at work the portions are obviously small enough that it is not doing too much damage. And when I say not healthy, I mean chips and chocolates. Looking back I think one of the things that is saving me is my water intake.

It is summer here in Australia and so I am drinking close to 3 liters a day (about 100 oz?), now if I could just stop needing to go to the loo every 30 minutes :p

Alright, I best be going, more shopping to finish off and blogs to read. See you soon!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Week begins

Mondayitis is here with a vengence :o)

But the good news is there is only five working days until Christmas...

Oh wait, that is one of the things that is causing me to have Mondayitis!!!!! I haven't done any shopping for it yet. You see when we got back from overseas, Mum and I agreed that the holiday was our christmas present and that we would not be doing anything this year, but now that my neice is coming up, we want to do something for her.

Sounds fine, go get some gifts and food and all is great, only problem is I havent got any money to do this until tomorrow...afternoon. So that will mean that I am going to have to fight all the shopping crowds to get the gifts and shop for food.

I worked in a supermarket for thirteen years before I moved to Queensland, do you know that I still get anxious in a crowded supermarket. I'm one of those people that get in. Grab what I need and get out. I love the new self service check outs they have here, because it means I don't have to talk to anyone in the supermarket. I can be as grouchy as I like to the checkout, because it isn't a person.

Most of the time it is fine, but Christmas time is the worst, the shops close for one day, maybe two, the law is different every year about wheather shops can open on Boxing Day. But the amount of food poeple would buy on the days before Christmas. You would think the shops were closing for a month!!!

Not to mention the Christmas carols, I used to love them when I was a kid, then I worked in a supermarket.. This bit I am sure is the same in all retail, but the constant carolling drives me insane. I get anxious and flustered and just need to get out of the shops if I'm there too long now.

And now I have to dive right in to the mix. What is worse, is that because I do get this flustered. I have no idea what I am even going to get her. My game plan is going to be to do a little google window shopping today and make a list up. Find out where I can get them after my work hours and then hit the shops running after work this week.

It is a plan, but we will just have to see how it turns out.

I hope everyone else's Monday looks a little more cheery than mine :o)

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Friday, December 16, 2011

Blast it!!!

Okay so the not so good news:(

Skinny Sant Challenge

16 December - 248 lb (112.5 kg)
09 December - 247.1lb (112.1kg)
02 December - 250.6lb (113.7kg)
25 November - 253.7lb (115.1kg)
18 November - 254lb (115.2kg)
Start of the challenge - 256lb (116.1kg)

Yep, you read correct, that's a gain on 1.1lb. Wednesday didn't help, but then neither did my lack of exercise.

On the good news side of things, it is still 8 pounds that I have lost so far in this challenge, and as I commented recently, 'don't let a small set back stop you altogether' I can't let this small set back derail me completely, and I am no going to.

I still have 500 minutes to achieve for my exercise goal this month, nothing like delaying the start on something to increase pressure. I will make this goal. Even if I have to do a marathon session on new years eve :o) which is going to be difficult as I will be working until 7pm :p

Just means I have to get off my @ss and do something about it.

My other December goals are going well, I'm getting my water in and I am chewing my food well and really getting back into that habit. No more slimming or PB's or throw ups for me :o)

And the best news I have today is that it is Friday :o) the weekend is nearly here and I only have a four hour shift tomorrow and then the weekend is mine. Happy times.

Enjoy your Friday my lovelies ;o)

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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Dinner at Sizzl.ers

I just had dinner at I was the final Lapband group meet up for the year. Yep, we meet at a all you can eat resturant chain for our meet-ups :o) it worked out that it was the most convenient location, and as we dont eat too much hey give us a senior's discount! Having said that i have over done it a little with dinner.

But anyway, we were there for dinner and had a great time, one of the women jad to have her band removed in an emergaency a few months ago and just last week had a by-pass. It started a whole new range of talking points. Basically, is the by-pass better han the band?

He group that goes, is sort of divided into two sides. One side are the group ha have been banded for a while, they lost a heap of weight, got to goal and now have put a lot of the weight back on. The other side, have been banded more recently and are still loosing weight. I tend to put myself on that side if the group, even though it seems like forever since i have cominuously lost weight. The original group of bandsters are all looking at the by-pass as the next thing to do, as the band doesnt seem to be working anymore.

I have to sometimes wonder is it the band not working, or is it them not working with the band? But someone posed a new point tonight. The band is too high maintance for them and so is looking at by-pass as an alternative.

Is the band high maintance? I have never really thought so. But then each journey is always different and it may be a big work load for them. All i know is that after i have a meeting with them, I am more inspired to do what i need to do. I need to lose weight and fast.

I guess the real reason for these sentiments is because I had a bad food day. Not just tonight, but today at work, cake and bikkies were consumed again. And what I hate the most, is that I didn't even enjoy it that much. I was eating it because it was there and I wasn't in the mood to fight the urges.

I think I have worked out why though, you know besides the fact that I have no follow thru on sticking to a health plan, and habits because the las few days, I have not been having protein with my lunch, I have only been having a salad of tomato, feta cheese, avocado, cucumber and onion. I have been forgetting to add he tuna I was supposed to have with it. His in turn has left me feeling hungry early afternoon and so I have been snacking on junk, but then that leads to me not eating dinner, cause I'm full.

It's a vicious cycle and it must stop!!!!

And I think I have discovered one small reason behind this insanity.

I blog.

Yep, the solution to dealing with myself, has become a little bit of the problem.

You see, when I blog about something that is upsetting, I type out all my frustration and big dreams for a better me. I pour all of my ideas into it.... And once it is out, I realease it, never to be thought of again (or at least until the subject arises again) Writing is my release and with out this blog, everything gets bottled up and does more harm than good.

Now that I have realized this, I am hoping I can work on it just a little, so that I can stay focused on one thing long enough for it to have an affect on my journey.

But then again, I have now blogged about it, so I may just forget about it again :o)

What I am going to do is spend a little time going back though some of my posts and just check on some things that I said a was going to do, and make a list. And print it out so that I have a hard copy of it. Just to see how things are going.

This blog really is a continuous evolution of me, so I should at least try to keep up with all the changes.

So, after this very random post on lots of subjects, I shall leave you. (I promise I have not been drinking, I am just a little tired) I hope you have had a great Wednesday and that the rest of week happens quickly for us all, and I just want to say thanks for listening, it does help to clear the brain's cobwebs once in a while.

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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Well I did Walk!

Okay, so I didn't get to the gym an Monday morning, I barely made it to work :o) I was running very late and missed my regular train. But I did get in an hour long walk after work. Yes the after work walks have started again. Mind you the difference in the seasons a few months make is amazing :o)

The sun was still out and the heat was on for it. Gotta love the Aussie summer. I just need to find my cap so that I can keep the sun out of my face and then it will be perfect :o)

Oh yeah, and I didn't make it to the gym this morning either. No reason this morning, I woke up just in time to get up and go, but instead I rolled over and slept for another 45 minutes. I could say that I needed it, but the truth was I was being lazy, and that is not really a good enough answer. So I will be going tonight as there are no plans for a walk.

We have training at work today, something to do with sales. The last group that went said there were some interesting and helpful tidbits, but most of it was boring and didn't apply to us. So I guess I will just need to wait and see for myself.

At least it ain't Monday anymore :o) and as expected my enthusiusm for work is slowly increasing again.

Oh, and another thing that I did yesterday was start tracking calories. On a fitness app for my iPad.

Here is snap of how I went yesterday, too much fat, not enough protein and calories are quite low. I started off with 1200 calories for the day, but it adds the calories you use in exercise. This isn't too bad, but some of the food i ate yesterday, left a lot to be desired. There is a small chocolate bar in there as well as a few biscuits. And dinner was a small fries from McDonalds...

I know that is terrible, but after our walk I had 30 minutes to wait for a train and couldn't wait, mind you, they made me feel a little sick so I guess they got there revenge for my bad food intake :o)

This morning was much better. I have had a bowl of cereal, this one from be natural, full of grains and seeds, I could only eat a tiny bowl, but it is a healthy start to my day, and even though I have a training course, I will still have m salad and tuna for lunch, no cakes, no chocolate and no sandwiches that they usually supply on these things.

I'll let yo know how I go :o) everyone, have a great Tuesday!!!!

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Sunday, December 11, 2011


Okay, I'm am feeling so much better! I even enjoyed the work Christmas party on Saturday night. What ever went through me has passed and all I can say is THANK YOU :o)

Now it is time to get my @ss into gear. I have a December goal of 600 minutes of exercise and so far I have accomplished a whole 40 minutes. I am going to meet this goal. So to the gym with me tomorrow morning. Even if I can get in a 40 minute workout prior to work on a semi regular base, I should be well on my way to making that goal. And with a few walks after work will ensure success :o)

My other goals are coming along. My 8 glasses of water a day is doing much better, I have basically only missed it on the days I was not feeling well. Which is funny, because that is when I should have drank more than normal, but I just could stomach it.

And chewing has not been a problem. It is great when a habit is easily remembered.

Now the working week is about to begin again and I have to admit that I wish I wasn't, but than I have worked all weekend and that is my usual response after doing that. Throwing in the work party on Saturday night just adds to the long weekend and I feel as though I have not had any time to myself to recharge the batteries. Mind you, I'll be over that on Tuesday and will race through the rest of the week. Monday blues just seems worse after working on Saturday and Sunday :o)

Okay enough of the negative talk.

Good news on the niece front. She is coming up for a visit :o) Monday 26 December she and her best friend are flying up. Can't wait. I have even been able to wrangle a few days off while she is up here!

That was difficult, as I have just had 2 months off, but due to my work schedule I was only going to have one day off in the whole 10 days she ws going to be up, as I have to work all the public holidays and it was my weekend to work again on the New Years Eve. But as it is really really quite in groups between Christmas and New Year, I was able to get a total of 5 days off.

So I'll work public holidays Mon and Tue, have Wed, Thur & Fri off, work Sat, Sun and public holiday Monday, then have Tue & Wed off. It ain't perfect, but is time off to spend with her and I am really happy for that.

Now I just have to work on what we are going to do to keep two 17 year olds entertained without spending a fortune :p

Wish my luck on that, and I hope everyone has had a fantastic week end :o)

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Friday, December 9, 2011

SSC, Goals & update on my stomach

First up, here is my weekly weigh in for the Skinny Santa Challenge:

09 December - 247.1lb (112.1kg)
02 December - 250.6lb (113.7kg)
25 November - 253.7lb (115.1kg)
18 November - 254lb (115.2kg)
Start of the challenge - 256lb (116.1kg)

As you can see I lost another kilo. Very happy with that, I just wish I could claim more points for it as I am fully aware that this stomach thing of mine had more to do with it then the following goals :o)

So, how did I go with my goals?

Drink Water - have only reached goal three times in the past week.
Chew well - DONE (with what little food i have eaten)
Exercise - so far this month I have clocked 40 mins (and that was on Dec 01)

So not so good this week. I can make all the excuses I want, and know that I that the biggest excuse is that's have not been feeling well. To be honest I don't think I could have exercised even if I wanted too. At least not the last three days, but that still leaves four days were I made the decision not to exercise. Mainly because I didn't feel like it.

That is not an excuse, that is a pitiful reason. And I have made a promise to myself that there will be no more excuses to avoid the things I need to do.

It just irrates me that my motivation gets side stepped, did I know that I was going to get sick and so that is why my motivate kicked in?

I sometimes wonder, because every time I change for the better, it seems I get sick and have to delay the action, there by failing before I even start.

Which leads to the update. I do not know what is going on with me at the moment, but what ever is in my system is working its way through me and all I can do is pray that it leaves soon!!!!!! I have had enough of feeling crappy. I am still getting a few spasms in the stomach region when I eat, but nothing major. I haven't thrown up again (which I am very thankful for) but I just want this over with.

The good news is that it feels like it is lessening, so I can only hope that it is ending, and that I am not just getting used to it.

And after all that jibber jabber; I just want to say thanks for all your kind words, and TGIF :o)

Have a great week end.

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Thursday, December 8, 2011

Stressed to the point of being sick

I started yesterday off by throwing up, only there was nothing in my stomach so it was just saliva.

I thought I was just overly hungry due to the fact that Tuesday I had a big lunch and no dinner. I didn't feel 100% but thought it would pass. It didn't, I spent the train ride into work with my stomach rolling. And then I suffered through three hours of work with my stomach clinching and spasming. I gave up and went home to collapse on the coach.

To be honest, the pains remaindered me of when I had gall stones. So I figured it might be a little food poisoning, I'm not sure. More likely, it's stress related. With worrying about my niece and about my finances lately. It would not surprise me in the least if I was developing an ulcer.

But hey, positive thinking here. So I didn't eat a heck of a lot yesterday. In fact all I did eat were two choc chip cookies. Yes I know that was not good, but to be honest, I needed sugar, it had been 24 since I had last eaten anything, and that sort of thing was the only stuff I could keep down when my gall stones where mucking up. So I figured I'd give it a go. It worked. It didn't make me feel worse.

So after a tiring day I crashed by 8pm last night and slept all the way through the night. This morning I work u and although I didn't feel great I felt a lot better. So now I'm at work and sipping on some soup - much better food choice. But I still need to be careful. With every mouthful, I can feel my stomach wanting to reject it. So it is going slow.

And all I can think is I wonder how this will affect the scale in tomorrows weigh in. Over the last 36 hours all I have eaten is the two cookies and two small mugs of soup. There comes a point when starvation does more harm than good to the scale.

And another thing. The first thing that goes when I am sick is my blog reading, I just can't concentrate. So I have heaps of reading and commenting that I have not completed. Sorry about that.

I have started to catch up, but I am sorry if I missed your post.

I guess I better get back to work. Lunch breaks never last long when you are having fun :o)

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Monday, December 5, 2011

That was the Week End

It was a rather eventful one. I can only hope that next week end is not as packed as this one.

So latest update on Tori is that she is working out what dates she is going to come up to Brisbane to visit. When she lets me know that I'll just need to find a way to pay for the tickets :o) it will happen.

In other week end news, our team had our Christmas Party on Saturday night. We went down to the Gold Coast for a buffet dinner at this hotel called QT. it was lovely and the dinner was amazing. Nothing like a Sizzler buffet. This all freshly prepared and top of the range. The seafood bar had large prawns, crabs, scallops, oysters. There was another bar were you could get steaks cooked to your liking. A deli conter with cheeses and cold meats. Hot food - ribs, lamb shanks, roasts, veges. A stirfry bar, where you could add your prefered meat. And then there was the desert area. OMG it was amazing. Restaurant quality, petite serves and so much to choose from.

Here was my dessert selection, and I did not finish it. Actually I was very impressed with my meal selection on the night. I basically had 3 prawns, 4 scallops, a small piece of garlic pizza (of yeah, forgot about those) a little mash potato with two ribs and veges, and then the dessert. Mind you that was over a period of two hours and I know I would not have eaten as much if it had been over a shorter time frame. I only put a couple of pieces of food on my plate at a time, so I was able to go and get a new plate with everyone else. Only theres were full every time.

It did surprise me that I did worry about the differences on our plates. In the past it has always been, I have to get more than anyone else, or I have to get my moneies worth (dinner was $65.00 - just glad I had paid for it before my holiday) this time I was just enjoying the food, eating slowly and conversing with my team mates. I still find it a little odd, but I am getting better at it.

It was a good night and made better because it wasn't an overly late night and we didn't drink ourselves into a hangover. We all were staying at the hotel for the night and so we could have, but no one was in the mood. Partly because for most of them, Friday had been a big drinking night due to a farewell drinks party. I was glad for the quiter night, cause I just don't drink as much and the noise of bars is just too much for me these days (OMG I'm getting old :p)

Sunday was a relaxing day of a leisurely breakfast at a near by cafe before the drive back home. All in all, my social life this week end was great and only mared by my family life weighing my down a little.

So the new week is beginning and I will have a lot of work to do when I start. I am looking forward to the distraction.

Happy Monday people. I hope it is a great one.

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Saturday, December 3, 2011

Update on Niece

So I just wanted to let you know that I really appriciate your support in the Matt with my niece. She is currently staying with her friend from school, and for the time being it seems to be the best for her. She wants to do some family therapy in order to work things out with her mum and dad. I hope that they can.

It is hard being so far away from her at the moment, but I am supporting as much as possible.

All I am thankful for is that she is in a family home with people that love and care for her, while her and her parents take a break and hopefully try to sort everything out.

My role as mediator is to try and keep everyone talking to each other. I hope that I can keep that going. It is working at the moment, they just need to keep it up.

One of the saddest comments I have heard from her though wAs when she was telling how her friends at school had rallied together to help her out. As she didn't have her stuff from home they went and bought her some things she needed, stuff like school socks and pens. One of them took her to a stationary store and bought her a pencil ce that was $10.00 and she said to me that they would let her just get a $2.00 one from a bargain store, they made sure she got a nice one from Typo, and she could believe that they would spend that money on just a pencil case for her. It was $10.00 for a nice case instead of a cheap one. That one statement proved that she has never known the thrill of buying something just because it is pretty and nice. And that really makes me so sad. Everyone should at least be able to do something like that once in a blue moon. It also shows me how good her friends are and I think she is right to stay in Sydney were she is to finish school. As long as she has the support of her friends, she will make it, and once she finishes school she will then be able to move up to Brisbane and lead a normal happy life.

And I do know that she will be coming for a visit in the school holidays, she is able to start her summer break, so she will able to come visit and get away from it all.

Thanks again for your support. I just wanted to give you a quick update.

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Friday, December 2, 2011

Shoulder to cry on

With one phone call your world is turned upside down!

This morning when I wrote that post I was feeling great and all powerful. I could take on the world and succeed in anything that came my way... Then, I get a phone call. My 17 year old neice has left home.

This is the girl that just a few months ago was thinking of moving up to Queensland so that she cold move in with us as she was having so much trouble living with her Mum (my sister) and dad; well, it looks like that only settled down for a little while.

It's fine, she is safe and staying with a good friend of hers from school.

But I had a period of an hour where I didn't know that. I love her like she was my own, and it hurts to think she had to leave home and not call me, or talk about it. She and my sister were fighting again, but she didn't let on that it was getting that bad. I will find out in the next day or two as to what is happening next. I really think that she is not going to go back. And that scares me.

I know she doesn't want to leave her school, and I can see were she is coming from, I changed schools ten times when at school and hated everyone of them, she wants to stay with the friends she has. So that means she wont be moving up here to live with me, so the best scenario is if her friend's parents will be welcoming to her and allow her to board with them. I think they are okay with that (they are both police officers and from what I have heard, really like Tori) so that would be best case. Worst case would be a teenage home, I think that would do more damage than good. She doesn't live in the best area, and the fact that she is as well behaved as she is (ie. no trouble with the law and is not smoking) is close to a miracle. I think that would change if she went into a home.

Unfortunately it is a waiting game for now. If I had the money,I would fly down there now, but I don't.and that just depresses me even more. Another month and I would have some money that I could use, as it is I can only afford transport to and from work, because it is included as part of my wage (one of the bonuses of working for the rail)

Off topic, sorry. This isn't about me. I guess the frustrating thing is that I have no real way of being there for her at the moment. At least not physically, I can only be there emotionally and I have to wonder how good that can be as I sometimes wonder how emotionally stable I am.

Okay, this has helped a lot. I love this blog. It truly keeps me sane at times like these. Thanks for listening to my woes.

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SSC and a Random Rant

Okay, so I guess my plan is working!

Stepped on the scale this morning for the Skinny Santa Challenge and what did I see?

Why it was 113.7 staring back at me. That is a loss of 1.4kg or 3.1lb over the week, so my challenge standing is know as follows:

02 December - 250.6lb (113.7kg)
25 November - 253.7lb (115.1kg)
18 November - 254lb (115.2kg)
Start of the challenge - 256lb (116.1kg)

So it took me a little while, but it seems I am getting ready to start his challenge :o)

Now I just have to stay focused and remember my goals.... Water, chewing & exercise. The rest seems to fall into place when you remember these steps. Oh and not eat crap all the time, that helps too :o)

So I have been reading some past posts that I missed while away and saw Jen from It IS all about me's post from October regarding people who work again the band or complain that he band isn't working for them when usually it is them not working with the band. Now Jen admitted that she had done this in the past herself, and I admit I have done it as well. But now that she doesn't have her band anymore, it makes her mad to hear stuff like that.

I have to say that I totally agree with her on that front. And I am totally aiming this at myself and no one else. I can easily say that if I had not worked around my band for the last 8-12 months, I would be at my goal now. Instead. Have made excuse after excuse as to why I have plateaued / regained / stalled in my journey. And I just want everyone to know that. I am not doing that any more.

I went into the surgery knowing that the band is a tool and nothing more for weightloss. It doesn't band the brain, the hands, the mouth or the eyes. It bands the stomach. That's it.

So why have I been expecting it to restrict every other part of the diet experience? Because I missed the fatty food? Well yes, I did, but I do not miss the aching body after a five minute walk to work. Don't miss the sweaty arm pits and worrying that I stink and that maybe everyone can smell me. I don't miss falling down because I am so overweight that I can't stand on my own two feet.

I know that my December goals are the best ones for my at the moment because they will assist in getting me to were I need to be. At goal. And I didnt expect this to turn into a rant, so please forgive me for that. But I guess I was thinking that if I don't commit myself, it would not happen. Because that is what I am doing.

I am making the commitment to myself that I will no longer take advantage of my band and I will work with it to get to my goal.

Okay, Friday's rant is now over, and from next Friday it will be just a goal and weigh in Friday :o)

Have a great weekend ladies (and gents if you are reading)

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Thursday, December 1, 2011

Hello December

So it is December the first. Silly season in apon us. I will survive... I will survive :o)

I guess it helps that I am going to be so broke this month that I will not be able to have a big Christmas. I find it quite funny really that I was fine while on holidays, but now that I am back, it is taking me two months to get back on the financial track. I spent too much money when I got back home and the few bills that were not paid while I was away quickly got out of control. They are up to date for the moment, but boy, that really has not left a lot of penny's in the jar for Christmas social outings :o) can't complain though, I had an amazing trip and who can't afford to lose a few pounds over this period. That is the ultimate goal after all. So all those drinks I can't buy should help to that end!!

Now, the goals for this month are fairly simple...
Drink water
Chew well

The practice run over the last few days - just to get me in the zone as I had no goals in November; haven't gone that well. The first too are getting there. Chewing has really slowed down and so the quantities have also dropped. Water is getter there, been one short yesterday, but overall great job!

The exercise is another matter. My walking partner has had excuses all week and I have taken full advantage of them. As in, no exercise for me!

So today that has changed, and I have already been to the gym this morning before catching the train into work. No more excuses for this little duck. It was a 40 minute work out with 20 of cardio and 20 of weights. It is actually a good work out for before work, due to the lited time I have then.

If I can work out a plan so that I am more efficient with what muscle groups I do on weights, I sold be able to do this type of work ou most days. I know I'm not supposed to work the same muscle group two days in a row, so I plan to do a little research in all my fitness magazines and make sure I do the right oves and machines for just one group at a time. The cardio will also be mixed up, this morning I did a walk / jog interval session, so I need to make sure I don't over do the jog part, I'm still a little too heavy to jog every day. It puts a lot of pressure on the ankles and knees.

And the best thing about this morning is if my walking partner backs out this afternoon, I have already done my exercise for the day, and if she doesnt than I get an extra cardio session in, which is always the best stuff for weight loss :o)

I hope everyone has a great Thursday.

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