Can you please ignore my recent absence?
I have tried writing this post so many times. I have no big news to report, other than my life is very boring and I have been in a very deep rut of work, sleep and self doubt.
Doubt is always in my mind. About what I am doing, what I can achieve and what I am doing with my life.
Band wise, I am still holding steady. Around the 110.0 kg / 242.5lb mark! Every morning I make a promise to myself that I will do better 'today' and by mid morning I have eaten something I wasn't going to and the prisime is over.
Really, how often can I tell myself that tomorrow is a new day!
So, in my eternal search for finding a way to get past my brain, I am starting a new tactic:
Something Good I Did Today For Me:
Today I walked for an hour and twenty minutes!
A simple concept, and one that I am sure has been done a million times before, I am sure even be me in the past, but really I have to start focusing on the good things I'm doing and not worry so much about the not so good things I do every day! Because the truth is I get hooked on the not so good and just dwell on them. And it is continually dragging me down.
By the way that walk was great. Brigitte, a friend from work only lives a suburb over from me and we are planning to do the Inca Trail next year together. To get ready for it, we bothneed to loose some weight and get fitter. So hence the walking! To begin with are goal is a minimum of a good strong one hour walk, but we will be building that up until we are regularly doong strong four hour walks. At this stage of the game, that seems unimaginable, but I do think we will get there. I just have to stop the self doubt from getting in, otherwise we won't get to South America at all.
This photo is something else I am trying. I need to see photos of myself that I actually like!
I took this one of myself while recently up in Cairns for the tour I was on. I had a great time and even though my feet were killing me from not wearing proper shoes for the previous four days, I still had a great time with new friends and was thoughly enjoying the day out. The women I was with were taking a lot of self portraits, its what they did, and so I was trying it out myself. This one is not the best picture for focus and quality (I blame that on having to use my phone instead of my camera) but it is still one I actually like of me.
So anyway, thanks for reading. I have been readying blogs but have not really commented much. Self doubt has taken a lot from me lately but I am trying to claw back some of life back, bit by bit. Tomorrow is my weigh in day. I am back at the stage where I do not look forward to that day, but I still can't stop myself. But I am trying not to dwell too much on it for now.
Be back soon & enjoy what is left of your Sunday :o)