Can I just say that there are a lot of times that I hate my life!
There can be lots of different reasons for this hate, most of the time it is because I haven't done something I should have to make my life better, or I want more than I can afford. Most of the time it is all about me and what I am not doing to fix or be content with my life.
At the moment, it is my health that is not co-operating with me, last week the cyst I had on my chest had to be cut opened and drained as it wasn't going down and a small hole developed and it was disgusting and I was in a lot of pain afterwards. Enough said on that bit of TMI sector for now.
That was on Tuesday, and while it was sore afterwards, it was okay when the doctor was actually working on me, because he numbed the area! Wednesday was another story when I had to go back to have it checked and the dressing changed, because they don't numb you for that!
That really hurt, during and after......for a long time after. In fact I screamed when they removed the original bandage and was in so much shock, that they gave me the day off work and a prescription for some very strong pain killers!
I was pretty much back to normal by Saturday when I went to a work Christmas party (barefoot bowling - it was fun) and had a bit of a late night, but didn't over indulge, and then on Sunday afternoon, went to a friends for nibbles and a few drinks to celebrate her 40th birthday.
Woke up Monday morning and bam, cramping stomach like you would not believe! Looks like a got a bit of food poisoning at the nibbles, I will never look at another frankfurt in my life! But then no one else got sick, so I have a feelling it has more to do with the fact that I have been so run down and been on so many antibiotics lately! All I can say is that I am very grateful that the pain has stayed as cramps and there is no throwing up involved!
And because of the way I as feeling, I didn't weigh in Monday morning, I didn't know if that was good or bad, after a great loss last week, I was half expecting a gain, and I have purposely stayed away from the scale, in the hopes of eliminating the negiative thoughts I have about it!
Yesterday I had to go to a surgeon to have the whole in my chest made bigger and have all of the cyst removed, I now have five stitches and am in pain again. I still have pain medication let over from last week, so it is sort of okay, but I can still feel the stitches pulling and I am still in a little pain, I don't like it at all :/
The moral behind this saga is that I have not been to the gym now in over a week, and while at the moment I know I need to heal myself, there have been days when I should have gone, could have been active, and chose not to, used the fact that I was ot feeling 110% as an excuse to not work out. And that just shows me that I have not yet changed my ways.
Always having to work on your habits is exhausting at the best of times, down right impossible when you are not in peak condition!
In spite of all this, I did weigh in this morning, one day late for the week:
Week 141 (plus two days) post-op weigh in,
Starting weight: 151.9kg / 334.9lb
Last week: 108.6 kg / 239.4 lb
Current weight: 108.2 kg / 238.5 lb
Change: loss of 0.4 kg / 0.9 lb
Total Weight Lost to Date: 43.7 kg / 96.4 lb
Now I am not sure what will happen with this loss this week, as I have not been eating a lot the last few days, just been trying to get lots of fluids in, so when I start to eat again, it will be interesting to see if there is a bounce back up on the scale!
I will definiately be watching what I eat this week, and as soon as I can, I will be getting back to the gym.
And I do hope that I do not need anymore time off work! There has been way too much time off in the last two weeks and I always feel so guilty about taking it off.
I better get going, this has taken me a lot longer to type this us than usual and I think the pain medication has something to do with that, on that note I should add, sorry if anything in the post doesn't make any sence, I think I am a little bit under the influence of the drugs I'm on :o) should make for a fun day at work!
Have a great Wednesday :o)