Places to go; Things to see

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Pouch Test - Day One

So day one went okay.

Liquids are hard, I drank a bit today.

Breakfast: Protein shake and then coffee
Morning snack: Thai chicken cup a soup
Lunch: Pumkin soup and coffee
Afternoon snack: Protein shake
Dinner: Beef and vege soup

Exercise: 30 minutes on the treadmill

I also drank about three liters of water.

So for a little while I was feeling a little sloshie :o)

Calorie wise it was around 900 calories and about 90 grams of protein.

I am actually hungry though, which isn't the best, but it is really needed and is only for a one more day. Then I will be able to move on to the soft proteins, can't wait!!!

So one day down and still going, here hoping I get through the next couple just as well :o)

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Monday, April 23, 2012

Stranger in the Mirror

I have stopped looking in the mirror again!

I don't see myself anymore, I have started to just see the lips when I apply lipstick, the eyes when I apply eye make up and the clothes that need straightening. I have stopped seeing me.

This means a lot to me, it means that I am falling back into fat mode in my brain!

It means I have to move forward or else I will surely fail! I am really close to failure in my journey at the moment and if I don't take control of my life I can see myself regaining everything I have lost.

This isn't a pity party, it is my wake up call.

I am starting liquids for a few days tomorrow, starting the pouch test. I need to re-commit to myself and my band.

I know I am worth more than what I have been doing to myself lately and so the excuses and non action stop here.

I just want to put this out there so that you know that I am still here and trying to stop the crazy brain action that has been going on here lately. I need to be held accountable for what I am not doing on this journey, just as much as what I am doing for my journey :o)

Feel free to ignore my rambles at the moment.

The true test will be if I come back with advise that I have followed through..... Time will tell.

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Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Lost

Hello, it has been a little while and for that I am sorry. Can I please send out a big, big thank you to all that left your very kind and encouraging comments on my two year post.

I guess I have to admit that the fact that I have not yet reached my goal has affected me more than I want to admit. And all the time I am in two minds about it.

I know that I would never have lost the last 40kg and kept them off with out the band, but I know that the reason I have only lost the 40kg is because I have not been a very good Bandster.

The last few weeks have been tough emotionally for me. Nothing that I can put my finger on, just blah. The scales has been jumping around like crazy between 112kg and 110kg, and that has put me in a bit of a spin too, because it seems like it would go down when I was eating crap and up when I was being good, of course don't try to remind me that it was just the changes taking a day or two to affect the scale... I only looked at the immediate results :o)

So yes I'm still trying to loose the same two kilos or four pounds that I have for a while now. Easter was not a good weekend food wise. I had four days off and nothing to do. Very low on funds, so there wasn't even petrol money to get out and about. Ofcourse the idea of getting out and going for a walk didn't occur to me until I got back to work this morning. Why would I have an active thought, when I can sit around all week end and complain that there is nothing to do!

There wasn't a lot of chocolate eaten, so that is one thing, and I haven't gained weight, still at the 112kg mark. But it is stopping. I actually did really well today at work and have a shopping list that I am about to go and fill. Packed lunches will be coming to work with me for a while. I have some major holiday plans coming up and if I want to actually achieve them, I am going to have to start saving now, otherwise I'll have to tr to get a loan and I do not want to do that! I have enough debt without adding another holiday to it.

Alright, I just thought I had better check in and let everyone know that I am still alive. I will get back into the swing on blog land and I am very sorry that I fell out of touch for so long. I even stopped the snaps for Sunday and that was supposed to be a treat for myself. But I will get to that again this Sunday! The topic is 'time' which I think is quite funny when I think about the length of time it will take me to get to it :o)

Back soon and thanks for reading my rambling babble :o)

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