Places to go; Things to see

Monday, November 26, 2012

After the weekend

Week 140 post-op weigh in,
Starting weight: 151.9kg / 334.9lb
Last week: 110.1 kg / 242.7 lb
Current weight: 108.6 kg / 239.4 lb
Change: loss of 1.5 kg / 3.3 lb
Total Weight Lost to Date: 43.3 kg / 95.5 lb

Sorry about the last post, I really should not post when I am that tired.

But hey, check out that loss this week. 1.5kg, I am kinda of amazed, but it does support my remark from over a week ago, that starting back at the gym usually takes a while for me to see a change on the scale! So glad I have stuck to it and not blown it!

This week end was actually a bit of challenge on that front too. Saturday was my work team's Christmas party, we had to come into work for the day for a full day of sales training, but afterwards we moved on to dinner with a BBQ buffet (where I ate a tiny piece of chicken and of fish with a small bit of salad on the side) and then we went off to a club to dance the night away!

All up, I did drink a lot of calories, I couldn't tell you how much, but it was definately less than half than anyone else in the team, they drank a very big amount! And that just gives my something else to be thankful for with my band! I get tipsy a heck of a lot quicker now that I have the band, and I don't give in to the munches early in the morning when I have been drinking as much anymore either!

But it was a great night of fun and I am counting the dancing as my exercise, cause there was a whole lot of it and it was very active :p So different from pre band times when Imwould just shruffle about on the dance floor and then sit down ten minutes later! I was jumping and dancing about, having a great time!

As you can amagine, it was a bit of late night, and we were all staying in the city at a hotel in the city, so we were up at 9:30 in the morning having breakfast, but I actually only stuck to coffee before heading homing and doing some veging out on the couch. By the afternoon even that was too strenuous and had a nap for about four hours. Only got up to cook dinner and preparebmy lunches for the week before heading back to bed.

I didn't get to the gym this morning, but that was only a small set back after the weekend, I just have to not blow this weeks victory on the scale! So now I am going to bed so that I can get up early and head to the gym in the morning.

Have a great Monday and enjoy the rest of the week :o)

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Catching Up

I always feel as though I am playing catch up. In everything.

Work, life, blogs, weighloss, exercise and especially sleep!

Work: learning new things is never fun, all of a sudden I have gone from knowing everything in my job and teaching others so that they can help me, to learning new things and having no idea. Reminds me of going from primary to high school, one day you are at the top of the pack, the next day at the bottom :p I know it is only a temperary feeling and that I will learn how to book a group holiday package and not just the rail for them sooner rather than later, but all the systems and processes are very frustrating at the moment!

Life: I feel like it is getting away from me, or maybe this is just the lack of sleep talking as I am really tired and never seem to get enough.

Blogs: like some many out there, I follow a lot of blogs and there are times, when I just can't keep up. Not giving excuses, just me wanting to acknowledge that I am sorry for not commenting as much as I would like!

Weightloss: yeah well, I am working on this and is usually the subject of my posts, so I won't say more on it at this time :p

Exercise: getting better, but I am not where I want to be, so of course I want to complain. But I am remembering this picture from facebook. I will get there, I just need to keep working at it day by day. Enjoy the journey and stop wishing I was already there!

I can relay this back to all of these issues in tonights post! I want everything now, I need to learn how to slow down and enjoy the journey more!

And having just typed that I realise it is Thanksgiving in American, so for all of you, I do hope you have a great day with family and friends and find lots to be thankful for. We don't have Thanksgiving in Australia, but to take a leaf from your book, I am thankful for my band and the kilos I have lost to date on my journey, without which I would still huff and puff as I climbed a few stairs, I would still consumed whole tubs of ice cream and pizzas and then go looking for more, I would not be able to wear the heeled shoes I love to wear everyday to work, I would not be writting this blog and helping me get to where I need to go. So I am thankful for a lot. I just have to remember them every once in a while.

And just think, the weekend is nearly here, what more is there to be thankful for :o)

Night!

Monday, November 19, 2012

Ever changing minds

I think I have to face facts that my goal to get to 99kg by the end of the year is going to be an unachievable goal... Here is my weekly weigh in results:

Week 139 post-op weigh in,
Starting weight: 151.9kg / 334.9lb
Last week: 110.2 kg / 242.9 lb
Current weight: 110.1 kg / 242.7 lb
Change: loss of 0.1 kg / 0.2 lb
Total Weight Lost to Date: 41.8 kg / 92.2 lb

Now I know that the exercise helped with this weigh in and it would have been a lot better if it had not been for the Twihard weekend I just had (more in a sec), but I basically I have not yet started on getting to 99kg by the end of the year and it is getting so much closer to havinig to loose 2kg a week to get there, and if 1.5 was a stretch, 2 is not doable! At least not for me where I am at the moment.

So instead of giving up, I am going to adjust! The exercise and blogging goals remain the same, but as for weight, I am thinking that I would like to get to 105kg (around 230lb). Not as stressfull, not as daunting, and well on the way of getting to that 99 mark.
So that is that update.

Now for Twihard weekend :o)

Basically, I love the Twi1ight books, have read them many times, even have them on my iPad so that I can read them any time I feel like it. The movies are another thing. I don't mind them, but I have never been a huge fan of the way books get butchered so that they can fit into a two hour movie.

That being said, I would never miss the last installment of the series and since it hit the silver screens on Thursday, some friends and I decided to see all the preivios movies before venturing off to see the fifth and final film! Saturday we meet up and over a cheese platter, some bubbly wine and frozen strawberry daiquiris we watched them all! We made fun of the acting, cheered over Jacab's abs and wondered what the fuss is about over Edward. And how Bella is a playing them both over each other. We had a great afternoon / evening. Then on Sunday we went off to the cinemas and sat for the last of the installments. I have to say it was the best Bella ever looked, and I really did enjoy it as part of the whole movie saga.

Then, an hour and a half into the two hour movie, black out!!!

We had some pretty strong storms this weekend and right then it affected us and our movie watching! Could not believe it, we just laughed! Thankfully it didn't last long, within 15 minutes the movie was up and running again, and we were even able to see the fight scene again when they restarted from the beginning of the scene.

So that was my fun week end. One of the things that was really good is that I didn't eat nearly as much 'party' food as I would have! Even the others noticed that, we just had the cheese platter, which had two cheeses, dip and crackers on it, two bags of chips and some of a very yummy chocolate slice envolving cookie dough, peanut butter cups and fudge brownie. But we didn't touch the pastry puffs, the pizza that was planned, or any of the other cheeses and dips and chips that were planned. And there were three of us there and I wasn't the heaviest person.

We are all foodaholics, not too long ago, we would have demolished the lot and then had ice cream at the movie theatre. But we didn't, I guess it is a bit of reverse peer pressure, I can no longer eat as much as I used to, they want to be healthier so when I wasn't constantly refilling the stomach with the food, it actually slowed them down too!

Really makes we marvel over the changes I have gone through. And even as I read over the food, it still was a lot of food and mostly heavy in the calorie count, but it wasn't even half the amount of food we were expecting to consume! And that is a scary thought.

I best be going, about to start work for another Monday. I hope you all have a great week :o)

Friday, November 16, 2012

Slipping

Don't worry, it's not the band, just me... This morning I didn't get to the gym, so no exercise today!
I feel disheartened by it but I am currently in a lot of pain from a sebaceous cyst on my chest. It has flared up and I have been in pain and on antibiotics for a week, nothing happening, so this morning I went back to the doctors and he has now given me stronger antibiotics (actually two types) so that the infection can be killed and the swelling can go down and the pain go away before they cut it out.

I hate pain. And this is painful!

Every other morning this week I have gotten up and gone to the gym, done a good thirty minutes on the treadmill, starting the C25K program and I have finished week one. On the alternate days I have been doing 15 minutes on the treadmill at a fast walk, and then 15 minutes on the stair climber, that gets the blood pumping :o)

I will be back at the gym tomorrow, that is for sure!!!

I have to, this weekend is going to be a Twilight wekend - a couple of friends and I are watching all the older movies before going tomsee the last install,ent on Sunday. There will be lots of chocolate, alcohol and anything not good for me, sort of completely blows my goal of getting under 100 kg, but this one of those times were i am just going to hope for the best!

Maybe the chocolate will taste bad....... I would probably just eat it anyway!

I will make sure i have a goog healthy breakfast and be extra good from here on in :o) Night all!!!

Exercise: 7 out of 40 sessions completed

Blogging: the is 4from 20 posts to date!

Weight: 110.2 (aiming for 99 kg)

Monday, November 12, 2012

Don't Give Up, Don't Give Up

Picture Source

I saw this picture on someone's Facebook timeline and I thought it quite fitting after my last post about not wanting to do the work I need to get to goal because basically I am too impatient!

Week 141 post-op weigh in,
Starting weight: 151.9kg / 334.9lb
Last week: 109.9kg / 242.3 lb
Current weight: 110.2 kg / 242.9 lb
Change: gain of 0.3 kg / 0.6 lb
Total Weight Lost to Date: 41.7 kg / 92 lb

I am not happy with myself, but I am not quitting!

To be honest, it is probably the fact that I have started exercising! I know that previously when I started to exercise, my weight would go a little crazy for a week on two. I atrying to hold om to this memory this week so that I don't go completely nuts :p

Habit building is frustrating slow, it doesn't help that I was thinking about starting this up a few ays before I actually started it. But it comes down to the same thing; I am not patient and want to be at the end result now. But as the pic say, I need to work everyday to get to my heart's desire. Here is how I am going so far:
Yep! Just two days down...... But two from two is better than none from two!

Can I just say, I am enjoying it! I can't remember why I stopped going to the gym! I think it was something to do with trying to do it after work and was just too tired. I don't know, but I do know that so far I am liking it, and I am enjoying that feeling and am doing my best to hold onto it!

So far, and yes I am calling two days "so far", I have kept it the gym and just thirty mintues. Sunday, it was raining, so I didn't get out for my regular hour and a half walk, so I went off to the gym and did week one, day one of the C25K program. I am keeping the jogging speed very slow, only 7km/h or 4.3 mi/h, but I figured it is better to go slow and get through it rather than faster and not be able to finish! When it get to the stage where I feel that I can go faster, I will, but I am okay with this speed for now.

Even if I do go through the whole eight week program at this low speed, I am good with that. If that happens, I can than start over at a higher speed. I just want to finish the program, not be able to run a marathon at the end of these eight weeks :p that will be much later.....

So there you go. I think I am in a bit better place than a few days ago. Especially for a Monday :o)
Exercise: 4 of 40 sessions

Blogs: 3 of 20 posts

Weight: 110.2 kg (aiming for 99 kg)

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Everyday

So I have thinking a lot of the goal I have set myself with committing to myself for the next eight weeks and as always, wondering if I am doing the right thing for myself.

I still think it is a good move for me. I am a little worried about not finishing it; especially as I am already a little behind on the exercise front!!

To date the stats are:
Exercise: 2 out of 40 workouts

Blog: 2nd post of 20

Weight: 109.9kg – aim is to be 99kg
So I am two workouts down, and the weight, well that is Monday’s weigh in, and so far the scale has stayed the same all week, it did go up a couple 100 grams, but then it went back down. Just trying to get my water in and not stress too much on it because that usually just leads to eating and a weight gain!!

Trying to work if your goals are achievable is not something I am very good at. And the more I think about it the more I have to wonder if I am just setting myself up for defeat.

But that is the thinking that has gotten me here – nearly three years out from banding and only half way to goal!!!

So yes I can hear that I am rambling on here, but I just feel as though if I don’t write it down I will never get there. And I want to get there so badly, I am scared I will mess it up.

I wish I knew what was holding me back, I think about it constantly and the only thing that keeps popping into my head is both friends and family telling me not to loose too much weight, not to take it too far. The more I think about I really do not have the supportive network around me in real life.

I know they are just worried. I have an eating disorder, I over ate before the band. I can not stay away from food and I still have trouble avoiding the bad, crappy food that I used to eat in such large quantities. I can see that they are worried that it could easily turn into anorexia or something. I don’t see it. I can barely see myself getting to 75kg and that just puts at the very top of the healthy BMI calculator!!!
So for me being 175cm tall (5’9”) my healthy range is between approximately 57-76kg or 125-160lb and that is just freaky.

One part of me thinks it will not be possible, while another part of me can’t wait to see what I look like…and there in lies my biggest problem!! Can’t Wait!! I am so impatient; I want to be there now! I want to loose the weight and get the healthy body I have always dreamed about, but I am tired of the fact that it takes so long.

I know I want the goods without putting in the effort and that is really what is holding me back.

See, typing away here I have finally admitted to myself what the main problem is. I don’t want to put in the effort and dedication to get to were I want to be….how sad is that.

I have to though, I know that. I have to make it a habit, second nature to help myself get to goal.

The biggest thing that will help me get there that I currently am lacking is the exercise, I know this and that is really what I have to work on. General rule of thumb is a habit takes about 21 day to create, I think me and exercise is going to be a harder one and will take a lot longer, but it is what I am aiming for. After all it is a golden lap band rule to get 30 minutes of exercise in a day – everyday. Not just once a week; not a few times a week and not when the mood strikes; but EVERYDAY.

So how to incorporate exercise in everyday – that is the question….

Sunday’s really are the only day that I have covered – with the scheduled walk with walking work buddy. And while I do have an offer to walk after work with another work buddy a few days a week, past experience doesn’t have this as the best plan of attack because it is so reliant on the weather!

After work is not the most ideal time because too many times I skip it due to being too tired. So that leaves mornings.

I do actually like that time at the gym and getting there will be less of a problem at the moment as I have soul use of a car. For a while there I was sharing the car with my mum who I live with, but it is summer time here and she rides her scooter to and from the station, also, she is being made redundant at the end of the year, so once that happens she will not need to get to the station – she is looking at it as an early retirement and at least to begin with, does not think she will need to find other work.

You see it is very easy to type this out now on a Saturday when I am at work until 7pm and have a walk scheduled for tomorrow morning. The test will be Monday morning – how committed am I to my goals……

Monday, November 5, 2012

Week 140 Post-Op & the Start

Week 140 post-op weigh in,
Starting weight: 151.9kg / 334.9lb
Last week: 110.3 kg / 243.2 lb
Current weight: 109.9kg / 242.3 lb
Change: loss of 0.4kg / 0.9lb
Total Weight Lost to Date: 42 kg / 92.6 lb

You see why I dislike weighing in daily, as much as it helps at times to stay on track, it also makes me wonder what actually happens in the body, because yesterday I saw 111kg on them, not that I am complaining! I am under 110 and am going to stay committed so that I never see 110 again!

I was talking to a ladies at the monthly support lunch I go to yesterday and we had a great talk. She has been banded for nearly four years, she was 156kg / 344lb at her heaviest, she now weight in at a tiny 67-69kg / 147-153lb and has maintained for a few years now! She has already had a body lift to get rid of excess skin and is saving up now to have her thighs and arms done.

We had a good discussn on the band and getting to goal. She gave me her tips on what she did to get to goal and what she continues to do now at goal. It was great!

Now a lot of the things she did and still does are the basics - prepare meals, plan ahead and exercise. But on top of everything else that I have been coming to realise she just helped to reinforce my commitment. And to be honest, it was exactly what I needed I think!

So I went home (or at least the house where I am currently house-sitting for a friend) and cooked up a cottage pie mixture (no potato topping) I have divided it up into one cup servings and as I sit here on the train to work, I have a weeks supply of healthy lunches ready to heat and eat :o)

I also have my exercise planned out, when I get home tonight I will be putting my walking shoes on and getting myself to the gym and paying a visit to the treadmill!

Tuesday is Melbourne Cup Day, so fancy dress at work (still not sure what I will wear) so I will take a change of clothes to work with me and I am going to walk from work to a different station. I can easily get a minimum of 30 minutes if I walk to Milton station and better still that is in the wrong dirrection to were I live, so I will be able to get a guaranteed seat on the train as I normally get on the main city station and it can be a rush for a seat in peak times :o)

Now Wednesdayis my day off and I have to talk my mother to a doctor's appointment as she will not be ale to drive for it, has to have nil by mouth for twelve hours before hand and so will not be in the right mind to drive :p so that day I plan on getting to the gym in the morning before that happens!

Thursday I am going to try to get out early before work and talk a walk in the parks around where I am staying, it is a very pretty and quite area!

Friday will be a rest day, mainly because this is usually a night to go out after work for a drink or two. And then on the week-end, I am working, but will still have time for the gym on Saturday morning and my usual long walk on Sunday morning.

The week is planned and I have added it to my diary, calendar and now blog :o)

Here's to a great week of sticking to a plan and commiting to ourselves that we will achieve our goals!!
Exercise - 0/40

Blogging - 1/20

Weight - 99kg (currently 109.9kg)

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Self Commitment

Chris over at Banded in the 'Burgh has been doing an End of Year goal check for the last eighty days or so of the year. And seeing her updates there at the end of all her posts and my recent realisation that I am not commiting to myself, has really inspired me.

Now I am terrible at challenges, I know this, so this isn't a challenge! This is me committing to myself...it's all in the terminology :o)

Monday marks eight weeks until New Year's Eve, so that is the goal. Just eight short weeks were I commit to myself, that I will exercise, that I will blog and that I will work towards loosing weight, not just waiting for it to happen.

Those are the three things I need to make the commitment to for myself, and they all intertwine so that I get get back on track and get myself to goal!

Exercise: 40 sessions - this is five a week and I am not talking marathon sessions here, I am just talking thirty minutes of activity, something that I should be doing everyday as part of the lapband guidelines, but I have not done this for some time now.

Blogging: 20 posts - this keeps me sane and keeps me on track, so you may be seeing a little more of me, hopefully I won't bore you too much :p

Weight: 99 kg / 218 lb - for those of us that deal in kilograms, this is the big one, double digits! I really want this one, and I need to make the commitment to myself in order to get there. I have to believe in myself. Because I do not have a time in my adult life that I have been in double digits. So I know that this one is a big ask, but I am going to push myself and commit. Broken down that is 1.5 kg / 3.4 lb a week. It is a stretch, but totally achievable. Especially if I exercise and don't binge on crap food every other day.
Look, I have even made myself a little badge, because if I commit, I could actually get a body like that... Okay, maybe not without some plastic surgery to remove all the excess skin, but you get the idea :o) plus I like the visual aid to help me do this.

This morning on the scale I weighed in at 111.0 kg / 244.7 lb, that means I have 12 kg / 27 lb to loose. And that is a little scary, but I do plan on tackling it just one pound at a time. And the exercise and blogging will help me stay focused.

So there you go. My latest and greatest idea in the quest to get myself to goal. Daunting, especially this time of year, but it will happen.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Relief

Firstly, I do hope that everyone affected by Hurricane Sandy are safe, dry and well.

So I visited my surgeon again this morning and he removed a tiny smidge of my last fill.

Relief :o)

I was able to drink over 2 litres of water while at work today with no problem, and my breakfast was the same and before and lunch was still a really small serve, so fingers crossed this could be a great level.

Having said that, I know I have to wait a few days to get the true feel of this fill level, but to be honest, today was the first time in two weeks were I could drink the minimum water levels, so I am very happy :o)
In fact I had not realised how restricted I was until I finished my first one litre bottle and was topping it up again. I have not done that simple act in a while. I even filled it a second time, but didn't even get half way through the third fill of the bottle.

After the first bottle, I did wonder about food, but my serve was the same as what I was eating yesterday and filled me up for the rest of the day. After work I stopped off for a wine with some friends from work and only started to feel hungry then, I am sorry to say that I ate a small packet of Twisties.

Nights have really been my downfall lately, and I can understand it, I just need to work the action plan to avoid it! Protein first has been drummed in for so long, and I do great at through the day, but come night fall, it is just sugar and carbs, carbs and sugar. The brain will say protein, but the hands are grabbing sugar. And I really try to avoid to even have the stuff in the house, but there are times when I am in the stores and the hands take over :p the brain has no say and before I know it, I have ice cream or chips at home!!!

That has to stop, but even as I type this, I am struggling.

Nothing Tastes as Good as Skinny Feels!!!

I know a lot of people at goal use this mantra to get them through times like this, and I do try to use it. But I have still never been skinny and so it really is an elusive dream for me at the moment! Or at least it feels elusive.

This week has made it feel a little less elusive, but it still seems out of reach. I just have to keep my goal in focus. And when I was searching for inspiration in Google, I came across this Nike ad
And that really just says it all.

That is the real reason I am not able to focus on my goal and stay away from the crappy sugar and carb heavy foods, I have not gotten off my ass, and I have not worked for it! And until that changes, I can not continue to complain.

That's it for tonight while I dwell on that last thought. Have a great week end everyone!