Places to go; Things to see

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

What is Holding YOU back?

If you are not at goal and are having trouble getting there; do you know WHY?

I have been thinking about this a lot lately as I just can’t seem to break the cycle of starting strong with a simple exercise plan and eating plan that is not extreme; only to keep caving into to crappy food cravings half way through the first day – usually after I have exercised too!!

I think I have identified at least two reasons that could be holding me back…keep in mind I have no medical confirmations for any of this :P

Firstly; there is the loose skin factor!

I am petrified that I am going to end up with sags of loose skin on my arms, thighs, stomach and back!! This is something I have always worried about and I even asked the doctor prior to surgery about it, but to be honest, he just gave the standard line how about 50% do need it and that it is nothing to worry about at that early stage. It is probably the only thing about the whole pre surgery process that I wasn’t 100% happy with but as usual, I never complained about it at the time!!

I already can see it and it is only getting worse! I know I will not be able to afford the surgery necessary to fix it and it is already bothering me… so how do I deal with this issue? I eat!!!!

Secondly; fear of rejection…

I do not find myself attractive, so how is anyone else. So that I am not rejected, I have stayed completely away from relationships. So I have to wonder how I will actually go in a serious relationship, if it ever happens for me. I also wonder if I am just a boring human being, I mean I have the whinging down!
I saw this picture on Facebook the other week and I think it really started me thinking. What if I am boring personality? And then I think to myself, ‘just snap out of your self pity party darling!’

But the thoughts still linger… I know I should see a therapist, but I hate talking about this stuff! And the irony of that statement hasn’t escaped my notice :) Besides; with therapists, you have to locate one that you feel comfortable with and they are very expensive and I just don’t know if I can do it!

So there you go, two reasons on what I am sure is a much longer list of things holding me back!

What to do about is the real question and to be honest I really don't have a good answer.
But this thought does come to mind:
But other than that obviously defensive statement, I have nothing.

I saw this quote:
And I do know that this is one of my failures. So I really have to get back to the very basic beginning and relearn how to plan, because obviously, if I can't plan, all I will ever do is wish my life away, and to be honest with myself, I am tired of that, I want to start reaching my goals!

So I am off to learn how to plan properly and to put what I learn into ACTION :)

4 comments:

  1. you are on a road to better health, sagging skin is just a road hazzard.
    This road is also full of self discovery and I hope that you discover how great you really are and that one day you will meet someone who will love you for you.

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  2. Sagging skin is what it is. I have tons of it. But I look good in my clothes and I'm only naked a small percentage of the time. I'll take my saggy skin over my fat any day. Good luck with planning!

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  3. Don't worry about the skin! You can deal with that IF it's a problem. You'll be surprised by how much it snaps back into place. Plus, clothing hides a multitude of things!

    I am really commenting though to advocate therapy. I've been seeing my current therapist since before the band and through the whole process (and don't plan to stop any time soon, either). It has been incredibly helpful to me, and gave me a safe and private place to talk about absolutely anything. It helped me to identify when I was self-sabotaging and to also wrap my head around being a thinner person, including the different treatment I received and starting to see myself as I actually am. Give it a shot -- it's a tool, just like the band, and if you work it, the rewards can be significant.

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  4. Hey Sam -haven't seen anything new from you in a while so I thought I would check in with you. Hope you're doing well.

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