Places to go; Things to see

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Trying Something Different

I have been trying something out and it worked okay.....
This is the second time I have done this, written out my day thenight before to see if I can stick to it!

The first time was on Monday and it went prett good, the only thing I didn't do was a blog post, if you are reading this, I have obviously succeeded in getting most of what I wanted done today :P

Now you may think it is weird to have such an early bed time and "no reading" next to it, but that is due to the fact that both Monday and Tuesday nights I was reading until about 1am and am still recovering from it. I figureif I write it down, I may have a better chance of listening to myself!

Oh yeah and the reason why I didn't post on Monday? Because that is a weigh in day and the news wasn't good... up a little bit from last week

Week 148 post-op weigh in,
Starting weight: 151.9kg / 334.9lb
Last weigh in: 107.4 kg / 236.8 lb
Current weight: 107.7 kg / 237.4lb
Change: gain of 0.3 kg / 0.6 lb
Total Weight Lost to Date: 44.2 kg / 97.5 lb

Second week in a row that it has crept up! I know I have no one else but myself to blame, and it is all in my food choices! I am just so frustrated with myself!

Okay deep breathe taken and I am starting over yet again.....

It is up to me to decide what I eat, when I go to sleep and wht I do with my time!

Remember this Samantha!!!
That is all for today :o) and just think tomorrow is the Friday before a long week-end!!! Yay!

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Challenging Myself

Run With Jess is hosting a weight loss challenge, only it is a bit different to the normal challenges. Run by dietbet, everyone puts in to the pot and at the end of four weeks those that have lost 4% of their orginal weight get a slice of the pot!

Round two is starting on Monday 28th January and I have signed up for it!
Run with Jess
I know I always say that I suck at challenges, but I want to try this one as it is not able coming first to win a prize, it is about losing some weight, and if I happen to loose the required amount, than I can get my money back and if not everyone looses enough weight, I may even get a little extra back as well!

I am giving it a go and will see what happens :)

It has to be better than how I am going at the moment!

This summer cold I have is still persisting, mostly it is just a cough and a bit of a sore throat. I didn't exercise on Thursady or Friday, but I have done a thirty minute walk this morning. Due to my hip I can't get back to jogging yet, but it is probably a good thing, because if I was allowed to, I probably would have tried to run and that would not have helped my health!

Food wise, though I am not doing so well! Whenever I am sick, I always eat crap! Crap, crap and more crap! Yesterday luch consisted of crackerrs and dip with a side of cheezels!

And I have no one to blame but myself, I bought it, I picked it up and I ate it! Worse still, is that when dinner time came around I was not hungry due to all the crap I ate, so I went to bed with mo dinner. On one hand, I am fine with that as I obviously didn't need any more calories, on the other, that is a bad habit because I wake up hungry but can't eat anything so it leads to another day of bad eating....yes, this morning after the gym I ate the rest of the cheezels, please don't hate me.

I then felt so sick with myself, that I have now thrown out all the remaining crap that is in the house, and have determined to start with a clean slate from now on in, but deep down, I know that this is only a temperary mindset and before long the demons that haunt me we come back and try to test my resolve to stay away from the crap food!

Food addictions are the worst thing on earth!!! I wish there was a pill that could cure that addiction!

And look this has turned into another pity party! Sorry it wasn't meant to get so dark, my brain took over and look what happened!

Enjoy your weekend and be active, as far as I can tell it is the only thing that helps beat the dreaded food addiction demon, at least up to a point!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Frustration

So I have had this niggling pain in my right hip for a while now. It only hurts when I have been sitting down for long periods of time, on when I try to sleep on my left side (my favourite sleeping position) more uncomfortable than anything else, but it has been getting worse.

I didn't think my treadmill sessions were doing any harm as it doesn't hurt while I jog or walk, but as I have been on holidays the last week, I have then come home and have been relaxing on the couch a lot more than normal, so in the last week I have noticed that it has been getting worse.

As much as I hate it, I finally decided to see someone about it today and so off to a physiotherapist I went.

Seems that some time ago, I have damaged a ligament in my hip, between the hip bone and my back.

I think it must have been when I was doing the yoga a few months ago, as that is when I first felt the pain, but I had put it down to being too new to yoga and so stopped, thinking I would let my leg rest before going back and seeing the instructor about making sure I was doing it properly so that I didn't injure myself further, of course I never did!

So the physiotherapist checks me out and after some movements, prodding and lots of questions he came to the conclusn that it was just a ligament that was hurt and not something else. While this is a good thing, it also has it's own set of problems!

Firstly, I have been told that I have to lay off the jogging for at least the next few weeks!!!

I was not impressed! In fact it really does suck! When I mentioned that as it hadn't hurt when I was on the treadmill, I hadn't realised that would have been an issue, he told me, that when I am exercising, blood it being pumped to the area, and while that is a good thing, the strain of the jogging that is being put on the area, can also cause more ligaments being damaged and if that happens it can them be a long and painful recovery. My treadmill sessions have to remain at a brisk walking pace, no faster!

Secondly, I have to do lots of stretches!

While I have been doing some stretches after my treadmill sessions, I have not been doing enough and I also need to do them before I start as well, and he also advised to do in the mornings and evenings as well.

He also mentioned that i should also be stretching out my quad muscles as well as they are quite tight as well and that will help my knees. Apparently I have knock knees and that could cause issues later on, we will address those after my hip is better!

All this means that I am frustrated!
~ that I didn't do something sooner
~ that it is now affecting my running efforts
~ that it always seems to be something!

The therapist did do a treatment of electric therapy of some sort, I really should pay more attention to what doctors are doing to me :p it tingled and felt great and I could tell it was getting to the source of the area of pain. He then went throught the stretches I need to do and asked to see me again in ten days time.

Now I just need to regularly do the stretches and stop myself from jogging. That will be the hardest, but I know it is for my own good!

There always seems to be something standing in the way......

Monday, January 14, 2013

Summer cold & a weigh in

Week 147 post-op weigh in,
Starting weight: 151.9kg / 334.9lb
Last weigh in: 106.9 kg / 235.7 lb
Current weight: 107.4 kg / 236.8 lb
Change: gain of 0.5 kg / 1.1 lb
Total Weight Lost to Date: 44.5 kg / 98.1 lb

I haven't weighed in since just before New Year and I just knew that I have put weight on since then, so I guess I am just glad it is only half a kilo :P I am guessing it was higher, but the exercise has helped!

I have to tell you that I am still really enjoying the jogging. I don't want to jinx myself, but I actually think I will enjoy running! I did the same as I did on Saturday, jogged for as long as possible and then walked to recovery before jogging again. Today I did 3.01 km in 30 minutes, that is 0.14 km further than what I did on Saturday, so even though it is only two days, I am impressed with what I am accomplishing! And that is a new feeling for me!

The only down point is that I am getting a bit of a summer cold, sore throat and a chesty cough has started, but I am going to try not to let it get in my way of my new fitness start! Even if I ease up and just walk for the 30 minutes for a few days! I do not want what usually happens when I get sick, I stop everything, eat crap and then it takes my another month to start up again!

If I get sick enough that I do have to stop, I will, but I am hoping that it won't get to that.

Okay, I am tired and can do with the rest so that I don't get too sick; enjoy whatever is left of your Monday and have a great week!!

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Every Day!!!


This is what I have to remember!!!

This morning I went to the gym and ran, I am taking Manda's advice and not doing the c25k program, just jogging for as long as I can and then walking until my breathe and heartbeat get back to normal and then jog some more!

I think I ran more than I would have on the program, but as I never noted the distance before I really have no way of knowing for sure. So today I recorded it and will start to take a record of it all the time.

This morning I went 2.87 km in 30 minutes, that includes the warm up / cool down time walking.

Having said that, I then continued my morning by ruining all that good work at the gym and ate some mini wagon wheels!  I do this all the time and it is really frustrating!!

The above picture is just something I need to keep in mind! Even though the first pic really does not do me any favours it is where I have come from and the image on the right is one that I think looks healthy and I would love to have a body like that :o)

Evey decision I make needs to aim towards a healthier me and I need to constantly remember this. EVERY DAY!!

Okay I'm done for today's post, enjoy the rest of the week end, I hope you are fairing better than me, it is sweltering here in Brisbane and the fan is not doing much at all :P

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Ten Thing Thursday, a first!

Yes I have never done the TTT before and as I have a lot of thoughts in my head I thought this would be a good excuse to finally do one :o) So here goes:

1. Where I am:
I am stressed out and it is affecting my journey big time, I am struggling for motivation to exercise, my food choices have not been the best, and I am not sleeping so well! This has lead my to stay away from the scales since ghe new year, so I have no idea what the numbers are, and I really do not want to know, because I am sure the scale number has increased and I could not stand it at the moment!

2. Gym:
Not to say that I have not been to the gym....this week I have just missed Tuesday, but for each of the other three days (just got back from there) I have had to force myself to go! And isn't that what they say to do, just keep going, never mind motivation? I have been keeping it to 30 minutes and it has just been on the treadmill.

C25K begins again. I really do like the program, I just wish I could get further along in it, I keep faultering at week four and have to start all over again, this is about the tird time I have done week one in about two months! when I just want to be able to start running and never stop! I am starting to see running as a form of escape, and because I can not yet run for very long, I feel as though I am trapped and can't escape yet!

3. Running:
Another thought on running, I just downloaded this album from itunes:
And I love it!

It was great to jog to. I sort of shuffled along to it today and it did feel as though I was able to last longer before I had to slow down to a walk. It was not supposed to be a run day in the c25k program, but I just wanted to run, so I shuffled along at 6.5km (4miles) p/h on the tread mill for a few minutes at a time and then would walk until my heart rate got back down to normal and then run a bit more.

I will be using this for my c25k from now on as well I think :o)

4. My niece:
This is the one that has had a very turbulent relationship with my suster for last year or so, she came up on Christmas night and stayed with us for a few weeks, I was trying to get her to move up here, buf it isn't going to happen! She loves her brothers and sister and no matter what her mother and father do or say to her, she keeps going back for more abuse from them.

It is mostly mental abuse that she has been suffering from, but apparently her father and sister have hit her more that once and my sister just tells her to forget it and move on.

There are times when I do not like my sister one iota and lately there are more and more of those times.

I have tried talking to her, but she won't open up and talk about it yet. Whether it is because she is not yet ready or doesn't want to be talked into leaving, I have no idea, but I have come to the realization that I can't make the decisions for her, and when she is ready to make changes, she knows that I will be here for her.

I just hope she wants to make changes to her life sooner rather than later!

5. My Mum:
A few years ago, the retina in her right eye started to detach, it was tearing away and she went to the optometrist and was sent to a laser eye place and they were able to fix it. Because it had started to tear away and was an emergency and the optometrist she went to had connections, this all cost a few hundred dollars instead of thousands!

The left eye seems to be going now!

But the difference is, it is doing it in stages, the jelly at the back of the eye that holds he retina in place has come away, so the retina is still on place. At the moment.

This means it is not an emergency, we do not have access to the same optometrist and we have some options.
A. Pay thousands of dollars to get it fixed before it gets any worse
B. Wait until it does become an emergency and hope that we can actually save her eye sight.

My mum is all for plan B, she is a firm believer in everything will work out fine, I don't have that same belief, but I also have no way of getting hold of thousands of dollars in order to fix her eye straight away. She says that it is not bothering her, and that I don't need to worry, but what else should I do. I feel like a failure yet again...

6. My throat:
This morning I woke up with a tickle in the throat. I am really hoping it is just the smoke in the air, but I am not that lucky, I am probably coming down with a summer flu, and the fact that I get very sweety in the gym and then drive home in an air conditioned car is probably the main cause of it.

7. Finances:
I just feel as though I am drowning at the moment. A lot of it has to do with recovering from Christmas and having my niece up for those few weeks. She has absolutely no income coming in at the moment and I feel as though I am supporting everyone in my life except me.

8. Smoke:
Bush fire season is well and truly on here in Australia, Tasmania has had fires going on for days, New South Wales has hundred of fires going and here in Queensland we have our fare share of them as well! Today I am at home surrounded by a sea of smoke from near by fires on Bribie Island and some back burning (at least I hope it is back burning) they are doing closer to me.

The funny thing is that I haven't closed up the house, because it is so bloody hot! I actually prefer the smell of wood smoke on the breeze than to close the place up and suffocate!

9. House sitting:

Just got offered to house sit for a work mate of my mum's, two weeks in February and then again for another 9 weeks from the end of April! I enjoy house sitting as I get alone time and time away from living with my mother. But I will have a better plan this time, as the last time I house sat, I started to eat a lot of crap food instead of cooking in an unfamilar kitchen.

It sounded like such a great idea to buy a house with my mum at the time, but I just feel as though I can't have my own life. There is no way I would ever be able to bring anyone home and so I often wonder if I use it as an excuse to not meet men, or look to start a relationship. And most of the time it is fine, but now and then I just get a little frustrated, I guess it goes with everything else at the moment, I am looking for someone or something to blame for my lack of motivation

10. Thinking ahead:
I really didn't mean for this to be a pity post, I guess I have just been letting things build up and get to me. i find when I am under financal stress I have the hardest time of it. i get so worried that I won't be able to pay some thing! Or that I could loose the house, because for the first time in my life I actually have something of value that they could take from me if I was to be unable to pay the bills!

This will pass, it will just take a few more pays to get everything back on track and ahead again, and then most of the above stress will probably disappear, but until then I am sure I will continue to worry :P

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Ringing in the New Year


Another year begins, lets see how I ended 2012
This is how my commitment for the end of the year went.... Not so good, but I fully understand that my health played a large roll in not meeting those targets.

I stopped blogging because I was not doing so well, health wise and mentally, and while I should have blogged, I really didn't want to bore you or myself with my self pity! The sore on my chest has finaly been sorted, although I do have a mean looking scar. All the antibotics I had been on for over a month caused some irritable bowel syndrome problems that just added to the saga :p but that should also have finished for good (fingers are crossed on that)

As for the weight, well, all I can say is that being sick probably helped me get so close to the goal of 105kg, as there was not a lot of exercise to assist with the goal.

Moving on to 2013 :o)

No New Years Resolutions, just good decisions! And to have those good decisions develope into good habits.

The decision to exercise more often, take my vitamins daily and stop using food as an emotional crutch!

Forming habits is a difficult task to complete, but it is something that will happen!

The first of these good decisions started this morning, i had to start work at 8:45am and got into the city early, so early that my usual coffee shop wasn't yet opened, so instead of sitting down and waiting for them to open up, I went for a brisk walk about town for 20 minutes (traffic was very light and so I was very early) power walking through the streets felt great and woke me up, helping me to get ready for a day of answering phone calls!

The hardest part will be to continue to make the decision to get up and exercise every day! To say no to the daily chocolate and only have it occasionally! And to remember to take all the vitamins every morning!

For January I am trialing a small calendar and stickers. A different sticker for vitamins and exercise. And at the end of the month I will se how that goes. I may even post a picture of it if I do well enough.....if I never mention it again, you can just assume that the idea didn't happen and I am ignoring it in the hopes that no one will notice I didn't follow through ;p

Other than that, I haven't got much to report.

I hope everyone has had a great New Year and that 2013 is the year we acheive all that we set out to acheive :o)