Places to go; Things to see

Monday, September 30, 2013

The scale and other scary items in my life

This morning I weighed I at 112.5kg (approx. 248 lb). It has been a while since I stood on a scale and while I have been exercising hard in that time; my food choices have let me down; because this number is up!

So it may be Monday (the worst day to restart something) and it may be only 4 weeks until I jet off to China for 11 days (when I will be in true holiday mode); but I can not let any of this stand in my way of eating right; otherwise; what the hell am I doing?

Today I brought my lunch to work and there will be no more sugary flavoured coffees, I can not believe how much sugar is in the coffee shop Chai Lattes; my tea mix doesn’t have any calories listed on it and the ingredients are tea and spices, so I mistakenly thought that the shop versions would be similar; I was wrong; there’s seems to be based on sugar with some spices added!! So I shall just have to have the plain coffee again and left the yummy chia for home! And work on getting some sugar free flavours shipped over from the USA, because you can only readily get sugar-free vanilla here and I am not a real big fan of that one!

I have wondered about my lack of blogging and I have to admit it is the usual cause for my absence.....failing to loose weight! But it is silly to do that because I love reading of people's struggles as well as the continued successes! Firstly, it highlights issues I am usually having and offers alternative ideas on how to deal with them, and secondly, it is so great to see that person work through them and continue the journey. Prehaps if I had continued to blog more regularly I would have worked through the last platuea of two and half years a bot quicker!

So I am going to keep blogging, even if it does get a bit boring with just food updates and exercise updates! It is mostly for me and that is what I have to remember! I need to do whatever will work for me.

Now onto something equally depressing, work! Ireally wish I was rich and didn't have to work to pay off my morgage! Not liking it at all at the moment! Can I just say that new programs that don't do what was promised and take ten time more time, effort and people to complete a task SUCKS!!! But that is all I will say on the matter as I would likely to be fired if I said what I really thought. They keep assuring us it well get better, but at the moment I just can't see it and am just a little over being constantly emotionally and mentally exhausted each day!

I am trying to focus on the good things in my life, the upcoming trip to China that I am very excited about and all the great workouts I am enjoying. By focusing on them I am less likely to give in to the cravings for crap food that I have when under emotional stress!!!

and on that note I am off for today, I think I have rambled enough. Step by step I will get there :o)

Monday, September 9, 2013

Been a while....

Yes I have been away for quite a while.

For the most part, nothing has changed, and at the same time alot has changed!

Weight is still around the same, but I am feeling so much better, about myself and my life and my journey.

I am exercising regularly... for how long? Well I am aiming for life, anything short of that I do not want to accept!
This was this mornings workout session.

And I have been getting to the gym Monday to Friday, but I have not been as good on the weekends.

I tend to do up a snapshot like this and put it on instgr@m each day so that I try to stay accountable and motivated.

I do love how I feel after a great session and how much I can improve from week to week. This is only the third time I had done the above leg session and the difference that I felt even from last week is amazing. My dream has been to become active and to have exercise as a part of my daily life, I actually feel as though I am getting there.

Mentally, I think you can tell I am in a better place, I finally went to my doctor and talked about my problems.

Depression and anxiety are not fun to live with, but getting help is the hardest step ever. Once you take it, it is also the best step you can ever take. What made it even harder was that I had been there before and had stopped taking medication. I found it so hard to go back to the doctor and tell her that I needed to go back onto it!

Of cource she completely understood and was wonderful about the whole thing, put my mind at rest about a lot of the anxiety I had been having and has me on a different type on anti-depressants from last time. so far they are working a lot better, but she is monitoring me and we are working through it.

So there are the two main thins that have previously held me back, with just food being the missing link!

It is better, but still not great. I am eating a lot of higher protein foods, but still have a lot of problems with snacking, especially when bored at work! And I can be very busy, but still bored!

I have actually applied for a different position at work, but that has been put on hold for a while due to a new system taking up all our time and a resuffle not being the best option at this stage in the game...blah, blah, blah...same story they always say. Hopefully I will actually get to learn a new role sooner rather than later there, as a change is what I really need.

Well I don't know if anyone still reads this, and that is okay, because this blog has always been more for me getting things down, then writting it for other people, but if you are reading, thanks!!! And I will be back a lot quicker this time :o)